Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?
Healthcare is one of the crucial
part
of society's well-being. There are two approaches to Change to a plural noun
parts
this
issue: private and public healthcare. Some people believe that the first approach more
effective, Add a missing verb
is more
while
others adhere to the contrary opinion. I support a combination of both ones
and we will discuss the issue Correct pronoun usage
apply
further
.
Firstly
, we will consider the first point of view. Usually private companies more
productive Add a missing verb
are more
due to
a
competition with one another. As a rule, a worker's salary in the private sector Remove the article
apply
higher
than the public sector Add a missing verb
is higher
hence
private companies can hire more competent experts and improve quality
of services. Correct article usage
the quality
For example
, some advanced countries, such
as USA
and Correct article usage
the USA
UK
, use Correct article usage
the UK
this
model. Also
Add a comma
Also,
such
approach
reduces a burden on the budget.
Correct article usage
an approach
Secondly
, we will consider the second point of view. Paid treatment is a negative incentive inasmush
as people will complain about your health less often Correct your spelling
inasmuch
therefore
indivuals
will fall ill more frequently. Correct your spelling
individuals
Moreover
, private company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
doesn't
aspire to treat you, Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
that
you Correct word choice
apply
use
their service incessantly. Fix the infinitive
to use
Thus
we can meet unconscientious advices
for some diseases. Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
Besides
, government
has more resources than private companies ergo it can acquire contemporary expensive equipment Add an article
the government
such
as scanning transmission electron microscopes, hypersonic scanners, and ventilators. Some countries are famous its public medicine, the most vivid example is Cuba.
In conclusion, I want to give an example of Russian healhcare
. It combines both public and private systems. Correct your spelling
healthcare
health care
American
system of Medicare is a good sample Add an article
The American
likewise
. In that way
every person has the right to healthcare and can pay in addiction for paid services.Add a comma
way,
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on smoothing the transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas, especially in the conclusion where new insights or a strong rephrasing of your argument could be more compelling.
task achievement
Correct grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement, such as 'a worker's salary in the private sector higher...' should be 'a worker's salary in the private sector is higher...'. This will improve the readability and professionalism of the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides relevant examples to support the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the main argument and reinforce the essay’s overall position.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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