IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that the user should pay for the cost. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Constructing
road
Use synonyms
systems
Use synonyms
 is a costly procedure;
builing
Correct your spelling
building
 a new
road
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 requires a significant amount of financial investment. It is argued by many citizens living within a nation that governments are entirely responsible and must pay to construct these novel
systems
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 has already invested in multiple forms of travel, making it unjust to have
this
Linking Words
 expectation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why the user should pay for the
cost
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 of
road
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systems
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. Cycling, buses, and trains are all forms of transport that could avoid the congestion on roads that
consequently
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 leads to the implementation of new traffic
systems
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. If the majority of the population
decide
Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
show examples
 to use an alternative form of transport, no debate regarding
cost
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 procedures would be mentioned.
For instance
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, most European countries have implemented bike lanes and options to rent a scooter in order to reach their desired location within minutes.
Therefore
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, is the use of a car
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
?
Additionally
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, these options
cost
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 the
government
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 billions of dollars,
therefore
Linking Words
 the responsibility lies with individuals who choose to utilize the main roads. It can be argued that
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
show examples
 provide enough money for the
government
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 to implement new
road
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systems
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that it is not an individual responsibility.
For example
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, American citizens pay a huge proportion of their salary towards the
government
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 and
this
Linking Words
 should be invested in improving the country.
However
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, the taxes are
re-directed
Correct your spelling
redirected
show examples
 to pressing causes
such
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 as healthcare insurance.
Therefore
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, the financial burden should not be put on the
government
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. In conclusion, users of
Use synonyms
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 must pay the
cost
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for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 reconstruction as the
government
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 has provided multiple alternatives to reduce congestion on roads. If taxes were directed towards
road
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 work
then
Linking Words
 there would be no money invested towards more important issues.

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task achievement
You provided a good discussion of both views, but make sure every point is clearly justified with sufficient evidence or examples. For instance, mention specifics about financial investments in public transportation alternatives and compare them more directly to road costs.
coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains a logical structure, you could improve cohesion by using more varied linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Phrases such as 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand,' can be useful to achieve this.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay by laying out the main argument and counterargument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance, reinforcing your main points without introducing new ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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