IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make Write at least 150 words.

#minutes #plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features
The plans provide Key information about the changes
will
Correct pronoun usage
that will
show examples
 take place in the university's sports centre
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that the centre of the building
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
includes
Replace the word
including
show examples
 the main pool and reception will remain untouched.
In addition
, two extra changing
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
 will be added.
According to
 what is shown,a new leisure pool will be constructed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the West side of the building.
besides
 portes shop and one new changing room in the corner. In terms of the East side, outdoor courts will be replaced by
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 hall, two dance
studioes
Correct your spelling
studios
,
cafe
Correct article usage
a cafe
show examples
 and
changing
Correct article usage
a changing
show examples
 room in the Eastern South corner of the building.
Furthermore
, the
tws
Correct your spelling
two
 independent buildings adjacent
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 main centre will
be emerged
Change to the active voice
emerge
have emerged
show examples
 into one
substancial
Correct your spelling
substantial
 building.
Submitted by tuma729 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Your introduction needs a bit more detail. Instead of just stating the plans provide 'key information,' introduce what the current layout includes and what the main changes are.
conclusion
You should provide a concluding sentence that summarizes the main changes one more time for better coherence.
logical structure
Ensure to separate paragraphs clearly by introducing new points in different paragraphs for better readability and structure.
grammar
Be careful with your grammar, particularly articles and prepositions. For instance, it should be 'two extra changing rooms' and 'on the western side of the building.'
vocabulary
Refine your vocabulary to ensure higher precision, such as using 'amalgamated' instead of 'emerged' for combining buildings.
identification
You have successfully identified and mentioned the main features that will be affected by the redevelopment.
understanding
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the differences between the current layout and the proposed changes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: