Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

#children #television #effects

The

increasing

Correct article usage

an increasing

show examples

number of

children

who watch television these days,

while

in the past, most

children

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not spend a lot of

time

watching

This

essay will discuss some of the passive sides of

children

watching too much television and I believe that

children

can watch

with some rules that organize their

time

. The possibility of some health problems for

children

increases, and one of these issues is obesity. When

children

spend a long

time

opposite the

, that means they do not do any outdoor activity and just eat and watch.

This

might lead to

rising

Replace the word

a rise

show examples

in their weight.

In addition

, the level of education for

children

may be affected

due to

they stay long hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

For example

, My friend's family has two sons, one of them likes to watch

and his level in school is low,

while

the other does not watch

and his level in school is high.

Children

would watch

for a short

time

with their parents and

this

time

is to be

Verb problem

show examples

done

Wrong verb form

show examples

all their homework. Fathers and mothers should put

time

for their

children

to stay in front of the television and they ought to know what is their

children

watching on the

Furthermore

, programs are watched by

children

which should be special for

children

, and these programs ought to have educational goals for

children

. If the programs had all of these rules,

children

would watch them. In conclusion, there are a lot of

children

who spend a long

time

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

this

has some negative aspects

such

as health problems and they should watch

under the control of their parents.

Submitted by a2100b2100 on Fri Jul 05 2024

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task response

Try to elaborate more on each negative effect of children watching too much television. Provide deeper explanations or additional examples.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transition words to link ideas smoothly.

coherence and cohesion

You have included both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.

task achievement

You provided specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
screen time
cognitive development
social interactions
violent content
age-appropriate
healthy habits
attention span
media consumption
parental supervision

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Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In some societies, the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. Some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishments. To what extent do you agree

In some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that handwriting is no longer useful in the modern world and should not be taught in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?