Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to enourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
These
dyas
, Correct your spelling
days
people
's buying capacity has been increasing tremendously than ever before. However
, many people
say that an overdose of sugar
is being on
food and drinks Change preposition
in
products
by large
number of Change the article
a large
the large
manufactures
, henceforth, increasing the Correct your spelling
manufacturers
price
of sugar
-based on
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
products
that
can lead to reducing of Correct pronoun usage
apply
consume
Verb problem
apply
sugar
levels. Hence
, I partially agree with this
statement for the following reasons.
To begin
with, sugar
products
should be made more expensive because many products
contains
more Change the verb form
contain
sugar
levels, so when the price
is peek while
the population might Correct word choice
apply
be consumed
very less Wrong verb form
consume
level
of sugars
in order to they can stay far away from many deadly diseases like diabetes. Fix the agreement mistake
sugar
This
is, increasing the price
of tax on sugary stuffs
that mankind Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
do
not purchase enormous Correct subject-verb agreement
does
level
, and as a result
, they are being healthy. For example
, accroding
to Correct your spelling
according
the
recent survey said that, increasing Correct article usage
a
the
Correct article usage
apply
level
2 diabetics
in day-to-day around the world Replace the word
diabetes
due to
people
are
Verb problem
having
the
sweet tooth and they cannot ignore Correct article usage
a
to
eating more sweets Change preposition
apply
such
as softdrinks
. Needless to sayCorrect your spelling
soft drinks
that
, Correct pronoun usage
apply
encourging
to Correct your spelling
encouraging
people
buy less sugar
that's
the only way to Verb problem
is
increasing
the tax on sugary-based Wrong verb form
increase
on
Change preposition
apply
products
besides
the population never stop
to intake that.
Correct subject-verb agreement
stops
In contrast
, there is another way to reduce the intake level
of sugar-based
on Correct your spelling
sugar based
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
instead
of increasing the taxes on that particuar
Correct your spelling
particular
products
which is the
awareness should be arranged by the authorities about how Correct determiner usage
that
overdose
of Add an article
an overdose
sugar
products
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
people
's lives and what are
Unnecessary verb
apply
the
diseases will Correct article usage
apply
brings
. Change the verb form
bring
This
is, conducting small campaings
in the countryside along with towns Correct your spelling
campsites
in
every weekend meanwhile the local authorities and the Change preposition
apply
mediacl practistioners
show all Correct your spelling
medical practitioners
details
Correct article usage
the details
by
videos. Change preposition
through
For instance
, in
India has been Change preposition
apply
conducting trh
Verb problem
raising
awarness
towards Correct your spelling
awareness
people
to buy less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
suagr
Correct your spelling
sugar
products
in order to they
have the minimum number of Correct pronoun usage
apply
sugar
patients as compared to around the world. In addition
, encourging
residents to do Correct your spelling
encouraging
physicial
activities to improve their well-being from Correct your spelling
physical
affefing
diabetes Correct your spelling
affecting
offering
also
prevention ofdiseases
Correct your spelling
of diseases
apartfrom
increasing the cost Correct your spelling
apart from
on
Change preposition
of
sugar
-based on
Change preposition
apply
stuffs
.
In conclusion, certainly, increasing the cost of Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
sugar
-based on
Change preposition
apply
stuffs
can reduce the consumption of sugary items in order to humankind Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
stay
far away from Verb problem
apply
type2
Correct your spelling
type 2
diabetic
. Even though, creating Replace the word
diabetes
the
Correct article usage
apply
awarness
of Correct your spelling
awareness
sugar
-based product's
negative consequences through campaigns Fix the agreement mistake
products'
as well as
encourging
to do Correct your spelling
encouraging
physicial
activities to the population can lead to avoiding Correct your spelling
physical
diabetics
diseases Change the noun form
diabetic
rater
than increasing the Correct your spelling
rather
price
of sugar
items. Therefore
, I partially agree with this
statement in the above-mentione
details.Correct your spelling
above-mentioned
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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grammar
Improve grammar and spelling to enhance clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, consistency in verb tenses, and correct word forms.
examples
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
cohesion
Work on the fluidity and coherence of your paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, and that your ideas are well-connected.
balance
You attempted to cover both sides of the argument, indicating a balanced perspective on the issue.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay.
content
You have made some valid points about the health impacts of sugar and alternative ways to address the issue.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.