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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about global population percentages and distribution of wealth by region. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about global population percentages and distribution of wealth by region. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #percentages #distribution #wealth #region #summarise #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates how is the contribution of
population
Use synonyms
 and
wealth
Use synonyms
 divided per region from around the world. There is a huge difference between the number of inhabitants and economic power in several regions. In North America, they only contribute around 5% of the total society, but in the economic sector, they have approximately 35%
share
Use synonyms
 of
wealth
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
A
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 similar situation is happening in Europe and
Rich
Correct article usage
the Rich
show examples
 Asia-Pacific region too. In Europe, the
population
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 is the biggest compared to North America and
Rich
Correct article usage
the Rich
show examples
 Asia-Pacific, it is 15% more or less;
nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are only 5% of the
population
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
 in
Rich
Correct article usage
the Rich
show examples
 Asia-Pacific.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, even though Cina and India have the biggest
population
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
, it contradicts
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
wealth
Use synonyms
share
Use synonyms
. For China itself, the
population
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 shares are around 23% yet their
wealth
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share
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 only around 3%. In conclusion, there are imbalances in
population
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 and
wealth
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 shares that are experienced by these regions.
Submitted by kelly on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, wealth, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • global population
  • distribution of wealth
  • percentages
  • region
  • Asia
  • Africa
  • Europe
  • North America
  • South America
  • Oceania
  • disparity
  • account for
  • follow
  • despite
  • vary
  • demonstrate
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