It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweith the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #outweith

At least once in

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, they must take risks, either professional lives or personal lives. In my point of view, I totally agree with

this

because

risk

-taking can make

people

realize how far they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

go and know their potential. What I meant by that statement is

people

will never know how valuable they are if they are never to try something that can lead them to achieve their goals.

For example

, when I was 18 I

must chose

Wrong verb form

had to choose

show examples

whether

continuing

Change the verb form

to continue

show examples

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

private

Correct article usage

a private

show examples

university

or retake

examination

Correct article usage

the examination

show examples

test in next year to

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

Change preposition

into

show examples

my dream

university

. Because of that, I had to

balancing

Change the verb

balance

show examples

my academic performance in

first

Correct pronoun usage

my first

show examples

university

while

preparing to

entering

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enter

show examples

the exam test. At that time, I had two responsibilities.

In addition

, I promised

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apply

show examples

myself if my GPA

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

not good

enought

Correct your spelling

enough

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show examples

first

Add an article

the first

show examples

term, I

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

not try anymore to get

the

Change preposition

into the

show examples

university

that I

want

Wrong verb form

wanted

show examples

. Eventually, I can

achieved

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achieve

show examples

my dream.

Furthermore

, in my new place, I tried many organizations and committees but I failed. The thing that I can

learned

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learn

show examples

from it is at least I tried my best. Sometimes,

people

have to make decisions which are

hard-to-do

Correct your spelling

hard to do

show examples

. They are in a dilemma situation, should they stay in a comfort zone or

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

to out of it

Change the punctuation

show examples

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

guarantee, in the end, it will be worth it to

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

risk

Add an article

a risk

the risk

show examples

. Taking

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

will not always

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

happy way,

however

people

will not

Add a missing verb

be dissapointed

show examples

dissapointed

Correct your spelling

disappointed

from

Change preposition

with

show examples

every

risks

Change to a singular noun

risk

show examples

that they

are taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

To conclude

, it might be hard to decide what life choices to choose.

Nevertheless

, the thing I would say is choose the hard one and

taking

Wrong verb form

take

show examples

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

Submitted by wishmeluck on Sat Jul 06 2024

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grammatical accuracy

Work on grammatical accuracy and fluency to make your writing more polished. For example, correct minor errors in verb tense, articles, and prepositions.

cohesion

Enhance your essay's logical structure by making transitions between paragraphs more explicit. Use cohesive devices like 'However', 'Therefore', 'In addition', etc., to show clear relationships between your ideas.

task response

You clearly articulated your point of view and gave personal examples to support your argument.

structure

Your introductory and concluding statements are effective and give a good overview and summary of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweith the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, a lot of people are able to do their work from home. Discuss both the advantage and disadvantages of this develpment.

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this effect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used other purpose such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Write at least 250 words.