The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

A glance at the

daigram

Correct your spelling

diagram

provided highlights the procedure of manufacturing

sugar

from

sugar

cane.

Overall

this

procedure contains 7 stages and they will be revealed in the following paragraphs.

Initailly

Correct your spelling

Initially

, it causes farmers around 12 to 18 months, to wait for

havesting

Correct your spelling

harvesting

the

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

. There are two ways to harvest

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

, by

algricultural

Correct your spelling

agricultural

truck or by

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

workforce.

Subsquently

Correct your spelling

Subsequently

, the

sugar

canes

will be crushed and squeezed by particular machines,

therefore

the

juice

inside

sugar

Correct article usage

the sugar

show examples

canes

will be

avalible

Correct your spelling

available

for the purifying stage. In the purifying stage, the

sugar

cane

juice

are

Change the verb form

show examples

loaded and

Verb problem

apply

show examples

press

Wrong verb form

pressed

show examples

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

Change the article

show examples

limestane

Correct your spelling

limestone

filter, which can

seperate

Correct your spelling

separate

bugs or rocks away from

juice

Correct article usage

the juice

show examples

Moreover

, the

juice

will be

transfered

Correct your spelling

transferred

transformed

into an evaporator, which heats the

juice

to become syrup.

Finally

, the

sugar

crystals will be separated from the syrup and loaded into column boxes in the centrifuge

as well as

the drying and cooling stages respectively.

Submitted by tvkevin0910681085 on Sat Jul 06 2024

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

155 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism of their teachers. Others think it will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and ive your opinion.

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