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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English-speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: . introduce yourself . explain what is wrong with the furniture . say what action you would like the landlord to take

#accommodation #country #condition #furniture #landlord #action
Dear Mr. Donald, My name is Hasan Ali. I have rented your 3 bedroom apartment on
Oxord
Correct your spelling
Oxford
 Street. I am writing you
this
 letter to express my dissatisfaction
over
Change preposition
with
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 the furniture provided by you. I moved
in
Change preposition
to
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 36-A, Charleston Street in July 2000 and since
then
 there
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 a
constatnt
Correct your spelling
constant
 cycle of something or the other going wrong. The sofas in the living room
provided
Add a missing verb
are provided
show examples
 by you and tearing at the seams. The cloth of the sofa has
also
 become worn out.
This
 could be because of the wear and tear.
Also
, the wood of the sofa frame has
also
 started getting chipped off. I will not be home
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 of next week.
CouId
Correct your spelling
Could
 you please get the sofas fixed
then
?.
Furthermore
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 windowpane of
kitchen
Add an article
the kitchen
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 has loose screws. can you get the carpenter to fix them?
as
Correct word choice
apply
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he will already be coming for the sofas.
Thankyou
Correct your spelling
Thank you
show examples
 for your consideration. Yours faithfully Hasan Ali
Submitted by hudibaiqbal on

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grammar and mechanics
There are a few spelling and grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the message. For instance, 'constatnt' should be 'constant', 'and tearing at the seams' should be 'are tearing at the seams', 'CouId' should be 'Could', and 'Thankyou' should be 'Thank you'.
grammar and mechanics
Consider rephrasing some sentences for better readability. For example, 'Also, the wood of the sofa frame has also started getting chipped off.' could be simplified to, 'Additionally, the wood frame of the sofa is chipping.'
tone
The greeting and closing are appropriate and polite. This sets the right tone for the letter.
structure
The letter is well-structured with a clear introduction, explanation of the issue, and a request for action.
coherence
Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which enhances the clarity and coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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