IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.
#information #tourists #holiday #resort #australia
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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pie chart and table illustrate information about the proportion of
tourists
 in various countries and their different preferences for
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and activities. A glance at the chart and table provided reveals that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Europe was the most dominant and
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of
tourists
 went to Europe. In Europe, the duration of journeys
were
Change the verb form
was
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 the longest of others.
While
, in Asia, the most prominent
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 was 5-star
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
. To be more detailed, 35% of visitors were in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
.
US
Correct article usage
The US
show examples
 was the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 one. Asians and other
tourists
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest rates which was contrasted by 10% and 18%. As can be seen, American and Asian
tourists
 chose 4-5-star
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
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 and for the main
activity
Add a comma
activity,
show examples
 they opted
sightseeing
Change preposition
for sightseeing
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. Asians went on a holiday for 4 days.
On the contrary
, Americans mostly stay for 14 days.
Besides
,
European
Replace the word
Europeans
show examples
 and
tourists
 from other regions were impressed with Camping and Caravan.
Average
Add an article
The average
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 length of stay of others
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 10 days.
Main
Add an article
The main
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 activity of other regions was surfing.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Europeans preferred
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
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swimming and sunbathing
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 their vacations.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tourist influx
  • Peak season
  • Demographic information
  • Fluctuations
  • Duration of stay
  • Preferred accommodations
  • Analyze
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Compare and contrast
  • Speculate
  • Marketing campaigns
  • Management
  • Data
  • Notable
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