Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

When one falls into a case of misfortune,
for example
working a poor job or being short on funds, there is one side of the population that argues that the individual should accept their case,
while
the other side believes that they should strive for improvement and escape their ill-fate. On close examination of both arguments, it can be gathered that seeking change can have a more positive outcome. One perspective suggests that disgruntled employees should put aside their worries and consider acceptance because an unhealthy mental state is a debilitating condition. The negative thoughts and ruminations associated with the concerns about wealth and socioeconomic status are significantly linked to greater tolls on human physiology.
For instance
, the risks of cardiac disease and strokes are greatly increased in people with higher than average levels of anxiety, commonly those in poverty.
Therefore
, to mitigate these issues it has been suggested that misfortunate people implement meditative practices since they have been shown to demonstrably reduce the decaying aspects of poverty.
On the other hand
, proponents of encouragement to increase ambitiousness in less fortunate members of society often cite the improved self-worth that will benefit these people. An example of
this
change in lower-class individuals is the psychological and neurological features studied. Those who see themselves as inferior on the social hierarchy exhibit negative traits in their posture,
for instance
, and in their hormone function, where an unhealthy drop in dopamine causes negative mood changes.
This
phenomenon is believed to be corrected solely by advancements in social domains, where they upgrade in their given field by seeking better wages which would result in improvements to their self-perception and
consequently
relieve them of their health defects. In conclusion, having looked at the reasons for both sides, driving oneself beyond a present case of adversity brings more tangible effects.
This
is
due to
the changes in the human body,
additionally
, there are associated material benefits as well,
for instance
, better income and housing.
Submitted by Aakakw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include specific examples to back up your arguments. While the essay does reference general issues like poverty and poor job satisfaction, providing concrete examples can further strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to clarify your points as much as possible. Sometimes the ideas are complex and may benefit from simpler language or clear definitions to ensure they are fully understood.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both viewpoints regarding the issue and provides a balanced discussion before stating a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is very good, supporting points are well-organized, and transitions between ideas are handled smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and well-structured, providing a solid framework for the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: