IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of nline shopping one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Agree o disagree

#growth #nline #shops #towns #cities
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In recent years the popularity of online shopping has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased due
t
Correct your spelling
to
 the busy
schdules
Correct your spelling
schedules
schedule
 and
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 of people. Most individuals prefer purchasing
products
Use synonyms
 via online
stores
Use synonyms
 rather than attending to the physical store since it is less
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is a current trend of starting new
businesses
Use synonyms
 on online platforms to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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additional expenses
such
Linking Words
 as rental and utility charges.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, new entrepreneurs prefer
in
Change preposition
to
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initating
Correct your spelling
initiating
businesses
Use synonyms
 with lower investments.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
initiation
Correct article usage
the initiation
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 and development of online
stores
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 are
rapidy
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 growing.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, current business owners may shut down physical
stores
Use synonyms
 and move to online
businesses
Use synonyms
 to expand the
arket
Correct your spelling
market
 share and attract customers locally and internationally.
Secondly
Linking Words
, recent surveys have proved women with age over 30 years
hold
Correct word choice
old hold
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 high purchasing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society which will
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
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 a rise in online shopping. Most of the reputed
businesses
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as H&M, Addidas, Puma and Nike sell
products
Use synonyms
 via both platforms to serve clients in an efficient and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 manner.
Due to
Linking Words
 my personal
experiences
Add a comma
experiences,
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 I prefer attending to the physical store and
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
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products
Use synonyms
 since it allows the consumer to select
products
Use synonyms
 wisely with the actual visibility.
However
Linking Words
, some online shopping websites are not
user friendly
Add a hyphen
user-friendly
show examples
 and there are delays in
delivering
Replace the word
delivery
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 processes which will ultimately result in customer dissatisfaction.
Further
Linking Words
, refund policies seem to be dissatisfactory and loss of final packages
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 very common in online shopping.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some individuals may prefer visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
actual
Add an article
the actual
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 marketplace before making the purchasing decision. In my opinion, I
will
Verb problem
apply
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disagree with the statement since some proportion of people still prefer physical
stores
Use synonyms
 over online
shops
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 the lack of credibility and trustworthiness.
Additionally
Linking Words
, visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
physical
shops
Use synonyms
, viewing actual
products
Use synonyms
 and window shopping can be treated as a better way to spend the leisure time during weekends.
However
Linking Words
, shopping complexes
attaract
Correct your spelling
attract
attracts
 locals
as well as
Linking Words
 tourists which will enhance the development of local
businesses
Use synonyms
 resulting in gross domestic production of the country. In, conclusion, I suppose online
shops
Use synonyms
 will rapidly initiate and grow in the future but it will not lead to
complete
Correct article usage
a complete
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shut down
Correct your spelling
shutdown
show examples
 of physical
shops
Use synonyms
 in
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 cities.
Submitted by shehanigunasekara948 on

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Grammar and Spelling
Ensure spelling errors are minimized by proofreading your essay before submission.
Clarity of Ideas
Work on enhancing the clarity of your ideas, especially in the body paragraphs, to make your arguments more compelling.
Structure and Organization
Organize your essay with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph for better coherence.
Specific Examples
Good job including specific examples like mentioning brands (H&M, Adidas, Puma, Nike) which enhance the essay's relevancy.
Essay Structure
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your stance on the topic.
Relevant Arguments
The points about the credibility and user-friendliness of online shopping are well-articulated and relevant.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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