Many wild animals have become endangered. Why has this happened? What can governments do to stop this from continuing to happen
In animal species .
There are several actions that suggest the
past
few decades , the diversity of Correct article usage
the past
Correct article usage
the nature
nature
world Replace the word
natural
disappear
graduallyWrong verb form
has disappeared
by
a dramatic declineChange preposition
with
a
large number of wild Change preposition
in a
animals
species . Some wildlife is increasingly scarce and they are in danger of extinction . Change the noun form
animal
This
essay will look at some primary causes and propose a number of possible solutions that the government
can take to tackle the problem.
There are two main reasons for becoming endangered in some rare animals
. Firstly
, they are affected by illegal poaching from humans . For example
, poachers tend to hunt valuable products like ivory tusks , shark
scales . Another reason is deforestation . Using clear land for agriculture and logging can damage the habitat of various wild Correct word choice
and shark
animals
. As a consequence
, it offers
some threats to Verb problem
poses
survival
Correct article usage
the survival
Change preposition
of
government
to mitigate this
issue . To begin
with , the government
needs to come up with legislation about raising strict punishment for poachers . From that point , it can reduce attacking wild animals
. Not only that , the government
can provide a safe habitat for wildlife . By establishing a conservation areas
like national Correct the article-noun agreement
conservation areas
a conservation area
park
, nature Fix the agreement mistake
parks
reserve
can offer Fix the agreement mistake
reserves
a
opportunity Change the article
an
to
wild Change preposition
for
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
for developed
and Change preposition
to develop
maintained
Wrong verb form
maintain
race
.
In conclusion , there are various factors leading to Correct pronoun usage
their race
endangered
of wild Replace the word
the extinction
animal
and some measures can be implemented to tackle Fix the agreement mistake
animals
this
issues
.Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use a wider variety of linking phrases and ensure that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. For example, transitional phrases like 'therefore,' 'furthermore,' and 'however' can be used more effectively.
task achievement
Develop more relevant and specific examples to support your points. For instance, providing statistics or case studies regarding poaching incidents and deforestation impacts would enhance the essay's credibility.
coherence cohesion
Refine the structure of your paragraphs, ensuring each one centers on a single main idea. This will make your essay easier to follow and more logically organized.
task achievement
Improve your grammatical range and accuracy by paying attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreements, and punctuation. While minor errors are acceptable, frequent grammatical mistakes can distract the reader and lower your score.
task achievement
The essay covers the primary causes of animal endangerment and proposes valid solutions, demonstrating a clear understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow the writer’s arguments.
task achievement
The writer uses appropriate vocabulary relevant to the topic, showing a good command of language.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite