Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
it is often argued that the higher authority of a wealthy nation should aid in improving the health, education and trade of the underprivileged.
This
essay will agree with this
statement because such
support can elevate the level of literacy and improve the health of the citizens.
On the one hand, it is the government's responsibility of a richer country to allow access to good education. This
can be done by funding and investing in schools with well-structured educational systems, and by granting scholarships to students of poorer nations to be able to study abroad. For instance
, The University of Oxford provided scholarships to elite students in some schools in Nigeria to study medicine. Consequently
, those grants increased the level of students' education coming from such
developing countries and helped them gain the knowledge and skills to increase the people's standard of living.
On the other hand
, a healthy nation is a significantly important issue, and it is the role of developed economies to provide access to advanced medical technologies, well-trained medical professionals, and medicine that may not be available to the poor. For example
, the Medical University of Lodz in Poland sent a group of medical doctors to help train nurses in local hospitals in Uganda. As a result
, these developments drastically improved their healthcare systems.
In conclusion, in my opinion, wealthy nations are obliged to help developing economies, because they are capable and have more resources such
as medical facilities to help improve health standards as well as
to elevate educational programmes that will allow people develop
valuable skills and experienceFix the infinitive
to develop
Submitted by sara.elkhansa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the task prompt by agreeing with the statement and clearly outlining reasons. To achieve a higher band, try to further develop your points with more varied examples and detailed support.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay follows a logical structure and uses paragraphs effectively. However, pay attention to some minor grammatical issues and punctuation to ensure a smoother flow. Linking sentences within each paragraph could also benefit from a more diverse range of cohesive devices.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position and provided solid arguments for your stance, which makes your response relevant and focused.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong; you have a clear introduction, main body paragraphs that each deal with specific points, and a conclusion that summarizes your position.
task achievement
The examples provided (e.g., University of Oxford scholarships, Medical University of Lodz's efforts) are relevant and help to support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the essay and underscoring your main points, which adds to the overall coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!