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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people said that it is kind of waste if people plan for the future and it is more important to focus on the present. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #waste #plan #future #focus
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Considering a bulk of contemporary mankind is concerned about their
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further
Correct word choice
future
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 life, prioritizing the future over living in the present moment.
However
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, concerns about the hereafter can entail losing touch with reality
thus
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i
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I
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 myself firmly believe that residing in just now grants individuals satisfying the moment of life in conjunction with having a backup blueprint which is crucial for our swiftly-altering society. As far as the hectic and mundane routine is concerned,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to encounter fewer moments of delightfulness in their lifetime.
Moreover
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, the human hormones of happiness play and influence a chief role
on
Change preposition
in
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 paving humankind's future.
For instance
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,
according to
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Add an article
the national
a national
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national psychiatric association
Correct your spelling
National Psychiatric Association
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, adolescents who undergo constant planning of their
further
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 actions have a scarcity of positive emotions and tend to possess lower accomplishments rather than those who play it by ear.
Thus
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, a coherent noteworthy virtue of concentrating on the present is having an emergency scheme. As regards rapidly changing prices in markets, brand new innovations, and even an alternative attitude of
people
Use synonyms
 are the cases of the fast rhythm of today's community where at least an approximate outline is the best option
people
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 can rely on. The alluring sample of it is lying in fact the realm of selling products online has vigorously exceeded during the COVID period. Thereby, a vast amount of
people
Use synonyms
 thought on their feet and utilized the granted opportunity to accelerate their revenue. To recap the aforementioned, I profoundly give credence to seizing the day with all the spectrum of auspicious benefits
people
Use synonyms
 can make of it
whereas
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 a tremendous frightenedness over the future harms health and makes the current situation even worse.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

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sentence structure
Work on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. There are a few awkward or unclear sentences such as 'human hormones of happiness play and influence a chief role on paving humankind's future.' Simplifying and clarifying these sentences will make your argument more persuasive and easier to understand.
transitions
Introduce clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Currently, the flow from one point to another can seem abrupt. Using cohesive devices and linking words can enhance the coherence of your essay.
paragraph development
Ensure each paragraph fully develops one main idea, and support it with relevant specific examples or evidence. This will enhance the completeness of your response and make your argument stronger.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
balanced arguments
The writer makes an attempt to balance the focus on living in the present with the necessity of planning for the future. This balanced approach is good and enhances the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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