The government should sometimes infringe on peoples' freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#government #peoples #freedom #security #society

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

With the increasing number of disorders including car accidents or extreme injuries, tons of people have voiced that the control of the government should be

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

reinforced.

While

there are still a significant number of people who assert that

freedom

should be prioritized over any other factors,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I wholeheartedly agree with the necessity of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

govermental

Correct your spelling

government

intervention for

overall

social security. Objectors of

this

idea argue that the violation of

freedom

can not be allowed in any

situations

Fix the agreement mistake

situation

show examples

. They think that it should be regarded as more important than public safety in a democratic

society

. In reality,

according to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research in the United States, two-thirds of Americans support that their individual choices are more precious than the majority’s gain.

This

survey reveals that some people highlight personal

freedom

the most.

However

, I firmly believe that the violation of individual

freedom

can be acceptable to some extent if it is

trully

Correct your spelling

truly

for public security. In today’s interconnected

society

, we need to respect and make an order to live together. The random

alcool

Correct your spelling

alcohol

show examples

tests for pilots and bus drivers may be one example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

. They have to be randomly and unexpectedly tested to check their

alcool

Correct your spelling

alcohol

show examples

consumption for passengers. As

this

example clearly shows, everyone should embrace the

invation

Correct your spelling

innovation

invasion

invitation

of their

freedom

from the government for

entire

Add an article

the entire

an entire

show examples

society

To sum up

, it is integral that we should accept the governmental intervention even though the disagreement for

this

opinion

also

offers

valid

Add an article

a valid

show examples

interpretation.

This

national action can ensure that our

society

is well managed in a methodical way.

Submitted by jb22809467 on Sun Jul 07 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure, consider improving the transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.

task achievement

Work on developing ideas more fully to ensure clarity and depth in your arguments. Use more examples and elaborate on the points introduced.

coherence cohesion

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.

task achievement

The response addresses the prompt fully, giving both sides of the argument before stating a clear position.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?
In this digital era, humans are inventing and developing many new technologies that can help them solve their problems in the best way including education. This writer believes that artificial intelligence can apply each method for each student has different problems and this will bring many benefits to the world's education.
7
band
Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?
It has been common to see people in the world allocating their time to family, although it is obvious that an increasing number of individuals from various cities are now spending more time apart from their families. While the motives for this shift in attitudes can vary, it has several detrimental consequences for people themselves and their families.
8
band
Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Worldwide governments must properly manage the monetary resources in all fields. Many people argue that the most important topic on which governors should focus is the healthcare system, nevertheless, I staunchly consider that although the health field is vital in the development of societies, money has to be equally distributed. In this essay, I will discuss both sides, and explain my reasons in detail.
6
band
Many countries today are experiencing high levels of migration from rural areas to cities. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers?
people from the countryside moving to large cities are not rare in the modern world. This prevalent phenomenon may lead to a lot of consequences. As a result, these effects are now existing in urban areas. In this essay, I will discuss it clearly.
6
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
An increasing number of married couples around the world choosing to remain childless. The main benefits of not having a child for couples are that they can focus on their careers and have more time for themselves. The main drawbacks are that they could not fit into their peers’ group and have no one to look after them when they get old.

The government should sometimes infringe on peoples' freedom for the security of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many countries today are experiencing high levels of migration from rural areas to cities. What are the causes of this trend, and what effects does it have on the existing city dwellers?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.