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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008

The bar chart shows the percentage of people who ate five portions of fruits and vegetables per day in the UK from 2001 to 2008
#bar #percentage #people #five #portions #fruits #vegetables #uk
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The bar chart illustrates the data of men, women and children
ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
show examples
 five portions of fruit and vegetables daily in the UK between 2001 and 2008.
Overall
, the number of women is at its highest
percentage
 than other group .
In contrast
,
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 children
throughout
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ate fruits and
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
 in
this
 period.
Additionally
, all
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of people
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 raised over the period. In
further
 detail, there was
Correct article usage
a considerable
show examples
considerable
Change the adjective
considerably
show examples
 raised during the period 2001 to 2006 in the
percentage
 of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
consumed
Correct pronoun usage
who consumed
show examples
 fruits and vegetables, from more than 15% to about 38%
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 a peak figure of all time, before
dropped
Wrong verb form
dropping
show examples
 slowly to 30% in the final year.
Furthermore
, the
percentage
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 who ate fruit and vegetables started
just
Change preposition
at just
show examples
 17% in 2001. The amount
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
 to over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
25% in both 2006 and 2007.
After
this
 year, the
percentage
 of men
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 to about 26%.
Similarly
, the
percentage
 of children shared a similar trend as
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
male
Change to a plural noun
males
show examples
, which increased slightly to about 25% in 2007 and dropped to 23% in 2008.
Submitted by m0751102 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • portion
  • consumption
  • trend
  • significant increase/decrease
  • stability
  • public health campaign
  • awareness
  • socio-economic factors
  • health implications
  • daily intake
  • nutritional habits
  • dietary guidelines
  • public policy
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