Nowadays in many countries women have full time job. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Now, in several
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
women
have
full time
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full-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
As a result
,
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
men
and
women
have
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
responsibility to undertake
households
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household
show examples
tasks
. Personally, I couldn't agree more and will discuss it in
this
essay.
To begin
with,
women
can be a mother and
worker
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workers
show examples
at the same time.
However
, sometimes they will feel overwhelmed if all household
tasks
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
given to them only. At
this
point, the husbands have important roles
to help
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in helping
show examples
their wives.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tasks
like mopping and sweeping can
be take
Change the verb form
be taken
show examples
by the
women
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
tasks
like cleaning the bathroom or mowing
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the husband's part.
Besides
that, the
women
and
men
will get a stronger relationship. What I mean by
this
is they will have a sense of
belongings
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belonging
show examples
, appreciate and respect each other, and gender equality will increase. I think the
most
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apply
show examples
easiest
ways
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way
show examples
to pursue gender equality in
Correct article usage
the work's
show examples
work's
Change noun form
work
show examples
world is by having a supportive husband who wants to share
same
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the same
show examples
burden.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
can have good performances at work because they do not have to
feel
Verb problem
apply
show examples
worry about household
tasks
.
Furthermore
, I think there are no disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
.
Instead
,
this
will have better impacts for
women
and
men
to collaborate.
Moreover
,
this
way can be one of
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
like patriarchy for
women
in their jobs.
Also
, the
women
will not get
harrashment
Correct your spelling
harassment
anymore just because they are working
while
as a mom and wife.
To sum up
,
women
who have
Add an article
a full
show examples
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
can
balancing
Wrong verb form
balance
show examples
their
life's
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lives
show examples
at
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
and
home
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at home
show examples
. As long as
,
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apply
show examples
there is a task division both for
women
and
men
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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language
Some sentences are awkwardly phrased or contain grammatical errors. Proofreading and editing for clarity and correctness could substantially improve the essay.
coherence
The essay logically addresses the issue, but the transitions between points could be smoother. Linking words and phrases can help in achieving better flow and clarity.
language
A few sentences lack clear subject-verb agreement and appropriate tense usage. Consistent grammar checking would enhance the readability.
task response
The essay meets the task requirements but could be strengthened by more specific, detailed examples that clearly illustrate the main points.
structure
The introduction effectively states the writer's stance, and the conclusion neatly summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
task response
The essay covers various reasons supporting the argument, such as mental load and partnership in relationships, which are relevant to the topic.
task response
The argument for gender equality, and how shared household tasks can support this, is a strong point well-integrated into the essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender equality
  • Fairness
  • Household tasks
  • Work-life balance
  • Stress reduction
  • Quality time
  • Career advancement
  • Domestic duties
  • Role modeling
  • Shared responsibility
  • Practicality
  • Modern society
  • Equity
  • Unfairly burdened
  • Positive example
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