More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Majority
of Correct article usage
The majority
people
are becoming seriously fat. Some people
know that the value increase of fattening foods
will tackle this
issue.The are
principal reasons are twofold.
I partly Unnecessary verb
apply
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
this
perception which
Correct word choice
that
foods
are becoming expensive.This
very high-calorie Correct determiner usage
These
foods
that rise of overweigh rates and grow a
number of Correct article usage
the
fatality
.If it were not expensive,we would not have been plump,Change to a plural noun
fatalities
besides
,we would not have balanced longevity rates.Given that government
Correct article usage
the government
can care
about Wrong verb form
cares
population
Add an article
the population
a population
that
they had better expand Correct pronoun usage
apply
products'
Correct article usage
the products'
price
. Fix the agreement mistake
prices
People
curb to eat high-nutrious
Correct your spelling
high-nutritious
high-nutrient
foods
by virtue of they
want not to splash out. Correct pronoun usage
their
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
decreases Remove the comma
apply
of
Change preposition
in
foods'
percentage that Change noun form
foods
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
green
movement and we Correct article usage
the green
achive
sustainable development. When they Correct your spelling
achieve
would
not eat Verb problem
do
to
much,they Replace the word
too
extended
their life expectancy.
Wrong verb form
extend
However
,l partly disagree that fall
Change preposition
with fall
the
production of Change preposition
in the
a
daily needs,poor population suffer from starvation on a daily basis.It Correct article usage
apply
also
causes mortality degree can grow among the
humans.Correct article usage
apply
As a result
,individuals can easily prone
to Add a missing verb
be prone
other epedimic disease
Change the wording
another epedimic disease
other epedimic diseases
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
athma
,anaemia and Correct your spelling
asthma
Correct article usage
the lowest
lowest
immune system.Correct word choice
a weak
This
because
Add a missing verb
is because
,
they can not consume enough food .If they are not able to eat Remove the comma
apply
sufficently
,they will need Correct your spelling
sufficiently
to
more calories and vitamins.
In a nutshell,we need to eat normally and Change preposition
apply
balace
Correct your spelling
balance
digest
system.There is nothing better than Replace the word
digestive
people
control
their healthy diet by themselves and Wrong verb form
controlling
administration
had better impose many rules about Correct article usage
the administration
production
of fattening Add an article
the production
foods
that reduce number
of deaths.Change the article
the number
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction contains a clearer thesis statement reflecting your overall stance.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, reflecting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
You use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.