Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be the consequences for these children when they grow up?

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It is argued that the ideal method of nurturing children is for
parents
to be obliged to have a allowing their kids whatever they want to
to
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
.
This
essay will
proposal
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propose
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regard of the consequences when they grow up. I
strongly
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am strongly
show examples
concerned
that
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about
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several factors if they have to choose
thing
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things
show examples
in the future.
To begin
with, there are many families
have
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that have
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one child or none because those
parents
want to live for themselves in
which
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apply
show examples
is successful high society and
enough
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have enough
show examples
money, including property. Obviously, those
parents
tend to
focused
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focus
show examples
on education
in
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apply
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which
make
Wrong verb form
making
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good marks at school
instead
desire to
being
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be
show examples
good human nature. Naturally, many younger
generation
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generations
show examples
grow up without any shortage and any punishment from their
parents
who do not think it is rude to make a noise to others. Namely, it is
serious
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a serious
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things
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thing
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to our society in
near
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the near
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future in terms of several aspects. To illustrate, in
korea
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Korea
show examples
, recently myriad teachers of elementary
struggle
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struggled
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with
infringement
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the infringement
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of teaching authority from their students.
Secondly
, our society should be
alertness
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alert
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due to
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because
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impatient students can not
be control
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be controlled
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by themself:they become a person who are
materialism
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materialistic
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and a pleasure seeker
such
like
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apply
show examples
a
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as
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game addict and bluff. Because they do not receive
a
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an
show examples
education from
parens
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parents
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to
perseverance
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persevere
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and hold their own against challenges. In
nutshell
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a nutshell
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, Having
a
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apply
show examples
children
need to
Verb problem
requires
show examples
several crucial things, which kind of personality education at the same time they should
do
Verb problem
be
show examples
obliged to become
a rigorous
Correct the article-noun agreement
rigorous parents
a rigorous parent
show examples
parents
such
as helping the underprivileged,
rescue of
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rescuing
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abandoned dogs for these younger a man worship
Submitted by tsuchi on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows well from one to the next.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples and reasonings to be more relevant and specific to support your points better.
task achievement
Clarify your main points and ensure that each one is fully developed.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and attempts to discuss both why parents might spoil their children and the possible consequences.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide real-world examples, such as the situation in Korea with teachers.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
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