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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What should a government do for a country to become successful?

#government #country
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In nowadays
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Nowadays
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, there are a lot of poor countries which need help to become successful. So what steps can the
government
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 take for the homeland to achieve a feat? Well, there are numerous ways that can be done by the
government
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 to develop the
country
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 which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. First and foremost, the
government
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 should provide their citizens with some basic needs
such
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 as food medical care and education. The good education system has a big impact on society because only with literate professionals we can raise the level of wealth in our
country
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.
Moreover
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, by encouraging people to eat healthily,
do
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and do
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 some
exercises
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exercise
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 we can prevent some diseases so that the
authority
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authorities
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 do not need to spend much time and
also
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 money to hospitalize patients.
In addition
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, the
government
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 should provide their native land with modern technologies because, without proper investment in the future, any
country
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 can be highly developed.
Furthermore
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, one more thing on which
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government
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the government
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 must
put
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pay
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 attention on the practice of law which gives citizens a safe and comfortable feeling because without living in a safe and sound place in result they will move abroad.
For instance
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, people in Ukraine move to foreign countries to find a better life without war and live in justice and
also
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 find
the
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apply
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prestigious
job
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jobs
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 that will give them opportunities and will increase their level of life. So providing a safety system would be one of the most significant for the
country
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 to be wealthy. In conclusion, even though governments take a vital role in
the
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apply
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developing
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country
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countries
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 people should
also
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 work hard for themselves, for their
family
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families
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, for society and for the
country
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 as well to achieve success.
Submitted by ephearort on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear and structured argument, it could benefit from rich and specific examples to strengthen the points made. For instance, giving examples of countries that have successfully improved through government interventions in education and technology would enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, but transitions between ideas can be improved to ensure smooth flow. Using transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'For example' can create better coherence between the paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in creating a complete response and supporting the argument well.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and well-organized, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
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