You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

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Dear Mr. Blue, I am writing
this
Linking Words
letter to express my dissatisfaction with the toy I ordered.
Furthermore
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,
last
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week I ordered a doll for my sister's birthday.
This
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is a very beautiful toy with a pink gown, golden hair and blue eyes, which resembles
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Barbie and
also
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it has some other dresses with a small remote.
However
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, it is a perfect gift for girls, but when I opened my parcel I saw that was broken.
It's
Correct your spelling
Its
show examples
neck was damaged and the dress was
also
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spoiled. I thought ordered something wrong because I was very disappointed.
Furthermore
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, the remote was not in the working condition. The extra dresses were missed.
In addition
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, I do not want to keep it, as it destroyed my sister's birthday. I want a refund because
this
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toy is very expensive worth 6000. I will return
this
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product by the end of
this
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week and I want my money back as soon as possible in the same account that I used for payment. I'd be grateful if you understand my dissatisfaction. Thanks in advance, Yours sincerely, Red.
Submitted by satnamkalsi06 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all ideas in a paragraph focus on a single main point, particularly when explaining problems with the toy.
Task Achievement
Include a brief mention of contacting customer service, if applicable, to make the letter more comprehensive.
Task Achievement
The letter provides a clear description of the toy along with detailed explanation of the issues.
Task Achievement
The tone remains polite and respectful, appropriate for addressing a manager.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing are properly formatted, enhancing professionalism.
Coherence and Cohesion
Suggestions for resolutions are clearly articulated, providing a logical flow of information.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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