Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays,
globalization
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being
Wrong verb form
is
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a
debateble
Correct your spelling
debatable
topic
due to
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its merits and demerits. Some
nation
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nations
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believe that living in a globalized world has brought a lot of
benifits
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benefits
for both individuals and communities
whereas
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some
argued
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argue
show examples
that notion and think
this
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has a crucial negative
impacts
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impact
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on
culture
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and tradition. In my
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opinion
openion
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opinion
,
globalization
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has On the one hand,
globalization
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have
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has
show examples
brought several advantages by providing
a
Correct article usage
apply
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developments in
variuos
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various
sectors for humans and countries. In fact,
globalized
Add an article
the globalized
show examples
world
have
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has
show examples
many positive aspects
such
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as creating
a
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apply
show examples
great job
oppurtinities
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opportunities
,
develop
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developing
show examples
Use synonyms
people
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people's
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lifestyel
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lifestyles
and serving them with good healthcare facilities.
For instance
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,
people
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now are changed and they looking for new
oppurtunities
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opportunities
and discoveries, to illustrate that, nowadays
people
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are travelling more than before and that would open their minds to
diferse
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diverse
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culture
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cultures
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and
led
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lead
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them
utilize
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to utilize
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different technologies. one of the most
benefical
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beneficial
advantages of
globalization
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that
Add a missing verb
is that
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researchers ,around the world, can
working
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work
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together
in
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on
show examples
their discoveries and experiments
as well as
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discussing
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discuss
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their results.
On the other hand
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, just like every notion ,
globalization
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does have certain drawbacks.
people
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may
loss
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lose
show examples
their
culture
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and tradition by merging themselves
in
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with
show examples
other
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
. For
istance
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instance
, teenagers
are looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
the same regardless
to
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of
show examples
differnt
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different
backgrounds
such
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as wearing the same international brands , Nike
t-shirt
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t-shirts
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and Adidas shoes and even
they
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apply
show examples
eating in a
USA's
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USA
show examples
famouse restuarant
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famous restaurant
such
Linking Words
as KFC. To illustrate,
this
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issue was globally recognized that teenager have been influenced by
western
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Western
show examples
culture
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and they might
loss
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lose
show examples
their cultural identity.
Consequently
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,
globalization
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
negative impacts on
culture
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and tradition, to overcome these obstacles, governments should organize ,non-profit, traditional festivals and
cermonies
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ceremonies
to encourage the citizens to show their cultural food and customs.
To conclude
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,
globalization
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
positive and negative impacts on development, but its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I believe that citizens and governments must be united to keep going with
this
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development and preserve the local
culture
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and identity.
Submitted by ghadeer_lab on

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Grammar
Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and correct grammatical errors such as 'globalization have' should be 'globalization has'.
Task Achievement
Expand and refine your examples to better illustrate and support your points. More precise examples will enhance your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the transition between your points for a smoother flow. For instance, use linking words or phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'In addition'.
Task Achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and maintained it throughout the essay.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, making it clear for the reader.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which helps in making your argument stronger.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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