Most people accept that we now live in a globalized world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays,
globalization
being
a Wrong verb form
is
debateble
topic Correct your spelling
debatable
due to
its merits and demerits. Some nation
believe that living in a globalized world has brought a lot of Fix the agreement mistake
nations
benifits
for both individuals and communities Correct your spelling
benefits
whereas
some argued
that notion and think Wrong verb form
argue
this
has a crucial negative impacts
on Correct the article-noun agreement
impact
culture
and tradition. In my Correct your spelling
opinion
openion
, Correct your spelling
opinion
globalization
has
On the one hand, globalization
have
brought several advantages by providing Change the verb form
has
a
developments in Correct article usage
apply
variuos
sectors for humans and countries. In fact, Correct your spelling
various
globalized
world Add an article
the globalized
have
many positive aspects Change the verb form
has
such
as creating a
great job Correct article usage
apply
oppurtinities
, Correct your spelling
opportunities
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
people
Change noun form
people's
lifestyel
and serving them with good healthcare facilities. Correct your spelling
lifestyles
For instance
, people
now are changed and they looking for new oppurtunities
and discoveries, to illustrate that, nowadays Correct your spelling
opportunities
people
are travelling more than before and that would open their minds to diferse
Correct your spelling
diverse
culture
and Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
led
them Wrong verb form
lead
utilize
different technologies. one of the most Fix the infinitive
to utilize
benefical
advantages of Correct your spelling
beneficial
globalization
that
researchers ,around the world, can Add a missing verb
is that
working
together Wrong verb form
work
in
their discoveries and experiments Change preposition
on
as well as
discussing
their results.
Wrong verb form
discuss
On the other hand
, just like every notion , globalization
does have certain drawbacks. people
may loss
their Replace the word
lose
culture
and tradition by merging themselves in
other Change preposition
with
culture
. For Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
istance
, teenagers Correct your spelling
instance
are looking
the same regardless Wrong verb form
look
to
Change preposition
of
differnt
backgrounds Correct your spelling
different
such
as wearing the same international brands , Nike t-shirt
and Adidas shoes and even Fix the agreement mistake
t-shirts
they
eating in a Correct pronoun usage
apply
USA's
Change noun form
USA
famouse restuarant
Correct your spelling
famous restaurant
such
as KFC.
To illustrate, this
issue was globally recognized that teenager have been influenced by western
Capitalize word
Western
culture
and they might loss
their cultural identity. Replace the word
lose
Consequently
, globalization
have
Change the verb form
has
noticable
negative impacts on Correct your spelling
noticeable
culture
and tradition, to overcome these obstacles, governments should organize ,non-profit, traditional festivals and cermonies
to encourage the citizens to show their cultural food and customs.
Correct your spelling
ceremonies
To conclude
, globalization
have
positive and negative impacts on development, but its benefits outweigh the drawbacks. I believe that citizens and governments must be united to keep going with Change the verb form
has
this
development and preserve the local culture
and identity.Submitted by ghadeer_lab on
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Grammar
Ensure consistent subject-verb agreement and correct grammatical errors such as 'globalization have' should be 'globalization has'.
Task Achievement
Expand and refine your examples to better illustrate and support your points. More precise examples will enhance your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on improving the transition between your points for a smoother flow. For instance, use linking words or phrases like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', or 'In addition'.
Task Achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and maintained it throughout the essay.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, making it clear for the reader.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points, which helps in making your argument stronger.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.