IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

#technology #people #viewpoints
In the past few decades, there have been rapid advancements in technology. It is often said that these innovations have been instrumental in bringing people together.
However
,
this
 issue is not entirely straightforward, and arguments can be made against the idea.
This
 essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support modern technology cite evidence from social media applications,
such
 as WhatsApp or Messenger, which allow people to video-call their loved ones, despite where they reside. Many families in India,
for instance
, feel comfortable sending their kids to study abroad, as video-sharing will enable them to feel connected still.
Furthermore
, proponents of technological advancements claim that the Internet provides a platform for individuals to make new friends online, which can help
ones
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who might feel awkward in social situations foster new connections through online websites,
such
 as Tumblr or Reddit. To the supporters of
this
 idea, these benefits are convincing.
In contrast
, opponents of these technological advances feel that online interaction is superficial, and does not facilitate deep bonds among people.
For example
, most individuals who have hundreds of followers on Instagram lack deep connections whom they can rely on. Another argument that can be made is online applications,
such
 as InstaCart invented to bring convenience to people’s lives often reduce door-to-door interaction between neighbours. Individuals are more inclined to order sugar, rather than pay a visit to their neighbour, which
further
 creates a divide as they no longer know the residents of their community. In conclusion,
although
 modern technological developments have allowed many families to stay connected
while
 being apart, it appears that it has had a stronger impact on creating distance among members of society.
Submitted by Writing8 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing even more detailed examples or case studies to further enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both viewpoints of the debate on modern technology.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a nice framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, such as WhatsApp and social media, which help support the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-structured, and the logical flow of ideas is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
What to do next:
Look at other essays: