More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #price #foods

The majority of people are becoming seriously fat.Some people know that the value increase of fattening

foods

will tackle

this

issue.The principal reasons are twofold. I partly agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

perception that

foods

are becoming expensive.

This

Correct pronoun usage

These

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

very high-calorie

foods

that increase

Change preposition

apply

show examples

overweight rates and grow the number of fatalities.If it were not expensive, we would not have been plump,

besides

,we would not have balanced longevity grades.Given that the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

cares about the population

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they had better increase the products' prices. People curb to eat high-nutritious

foods

by virtue of their want not to splash out.

Moreover

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

Correct article usage

the foods

show examples

foods

Change the noun form

food

show examples

rate

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

affect

Change the verb form

affects

show examples

the green movement and we achieve sustainable development. When they do not eat too much, they extend their life expectancy.

However

, l

partl

Correct your spelling

partly

disagree that with

fall

Correct article usage

a fall

show examples

in the production

daily

Change preposition

of daily

show examples

needs,

poor

Correct article usage

the poor

show examples

population suffer from starvation on a daily basis. It

also

causes mortality degree can rise among

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

As a result

, humans can easily be prone to

oyher

Correct your spelling

other

epedimic

Correct your spelling

epidemic

deseases

Correct your spelling

diseases

such

as asthma,a weak immune system and anaemia.

This

is because they can not consume enough food. If they can not eat sufficiently, they will need

Change preposition

apply

show examples

more calories and vitamins. In a nutshell, we need to eat normally and balance

digestive

Add an article

the digestive

show examples

system. There is nothing better than individuals controlling their healthy diet by themselves and the administration had better impose many rules about the production of fattening food that

go down

Verb problem

will reduce

show examples

the number of deaths.

Submitted by Shaxnoza on Sun Jul 07 2024

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Introduction/Conclusion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. While you have these elements, they can be made stronger by clearly restating your main points in the conclusion.

Examples

Your essay should include more specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.

Clarity

Work on clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas. Some sentences are awkward or unclear, which can confuse the reader.

Consistency

Try to maintain consistency in your arguments. At times, your essay seems to waver between agreeing and disagreeing without a clear stance.

Balance

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which showcases your ability to consider multiple perspectives.

Justifications

The essay attempts to provide reasons and justifications for your stance, which is good for supporting your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem.To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Deforestation is indeed a critical global issue with various causes and consequences. Here are some key factors contributing to deforestation and potential solutions:

In order to improve a country’s education system, young students should be allowed to openly criticize their teachers during class time. What is your opinion? What are some other ways education systems could be improved?

Nowadays , distance- learning programs have gained in popularity , but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as good as those taken at college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?