IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment which you use for your job write a letter to the shop or company with supplied equipment in your letter describe the problem with equipment explain how this problem is affecting you say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company
Dear sir, Hope
this
 letter finds you in good health.
Last
 week, I ordered a keyboard for my personal computer from "
modern click
Correct your spelling
Modern Click
show examples
" but it malfunctions frequently during my work. Some letters are not responding when I am typing
as well
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 power issue is
also
 present
as a result
, I frequently had to plug and unplug the computer switch causing disruption in my performance. It is always hectic to go through
such
 a problem as
this
 delaying my project submission date. I kindly request you to change the faulty parts as soon as possible with a new one making my daily routine easier so that I can focus on my work. your's sincerely Sailesh
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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task achievement
Include specific details about when the problem started occurring and any troubleshooting steps you have already taken. This will make your request clearer and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs follow a logical progression and that ideas are linked together more fluidly for smoother reading.
coherence cohesion
Double-check for common typographical errors such as 'power issue is also present' which should be 'power issue is also present,' and 'your's sincerely' which should be 'yours sincerely'.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is appropriately formal, which is well-suited for this kind of correspondence.
task achievement
Clear identification of the problem with specific examples, such as certain keys not responding and power issues.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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