Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
what
extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, the best way that massive Change preposition
To what
companies
can sell their manufcturations is advertising, and factories use Use synonyms
sport
events. Change the noun form
sports
However
, some people believe Linking Words
this
way has the opposite effect in Linking Words
the
sports. I differ from Correct article usage
apply
this
idea because these Linking Words
companies
Use synonyms
helps
to have more events, and they improve their devices and local firms can show their Change the verb form
help
things
.
On the one hand, when different Use synonyms
companies
want to introduce themselves to Use synonyms
spectator
they must do some works that help to upgrade Fix the agreement mistake
spectators
competions
. Correct your spelling
competition
Firstly
, they have to pay money to Linking Words
Federation
Correct article usage
the Federation
for
have Change preposition
to
Correct article usage
a commercial
commercial
; Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
then
Linking Words
organization
can play events with high quality. Add an article
the organization
an organization
Secondly
, Linking Words
sport
industries provide Change the noun form
sports
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes
Use synonyms
tools
like shows, clothes, and other Change preposition
with tools
things
. Later teams Use synonyms
whose having
play do not have to Verb problem
who
payed
a lot of money for Wrong verb form
pay
things
that need.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, when the player Linking Words
used
Wrong verb form
uses
these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
manufacturers
Replace the word
manufacturing
tools
they can get feedback Use synonyms
to
factories for Change preposition
from
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things
such
as Linking Words
closes
qualities, Replace the word
close
observe
weights, and other Wrong verb form
observing
tools
working; Use synonyms
therefore
, these firms can alter their Linking Words
good
to the best Fix the agreement mistake
goods
things
which have more clients. Use synonyms
For instance
, when I play badminton with Linking Words
heavy
racket I cannot have Correct article usage
a heavy
a
good efficiency; Correct article usage
apply
as a result
, I change my Linking Words
tools
Use synonyms
,
and Remove the comma
apply
sent
Wrong verb form
send
this
rocket to Linking Words
it
Change the pronoun
its
companies
. Use synonyms
Also
, the new Linking Words
companies
that do not have Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
bazar
sections can show their Correct your spelling
bazaar
things
; Use synonyms
thereafter
, players can introduce Linking Words
companies
good to fans.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, these commercials have benefits for both Linking Words
player
and Fix the agreement mistake
players
companies
Use synonyms
due to
the fact not only the number of Linking Words
event
but Fix the agreement mistake
events
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
companies
profits are climbing.Change noun form
companies'
company's
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay should have a more clear and structured introduction. Try to state your stance explicitly in the introduction and outline the main points that you will discuss.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow and structure of your essay. Use more clear transitions between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
relevant specific examples
Develop your points more fully and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help illustrate your points more effectively and make your argument more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and concisely. Avoid long, convoluted sentences and ensure that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay effectively.
supported main points
You have included some relevant examples and points related to how commercial sponsorship can benefit sports events.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.