Large companies use sports events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
what
Change preposition
To what

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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extent do you agree or disagree? These days, the best way that massive
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can sell their manufcturations is advertising, and factories use
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

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events.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some people believe
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

way has the opposite effect in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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sports. I differ from
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea because these
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps
Change the verb form
help

The singular verb helps does not appear to agree with the plural subject companies. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to have more events, and they improve their devices and local firms can show their
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. On the one hand, when different
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

want to introduce themselves to
spectator
Fix the agreement mistake
spectators

It seems that spectator may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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they must do some works that help to upgrade
competions
Correct your spelling
competition

If you don’t want competions to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they have to pay money to
Federation
Correct article usage
the Federation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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have
Correct article usage
a commercial
show examples
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials

It seems that commercial may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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;
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

organization
Add an article
the organization
an organization

The noun phrase organization seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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can play events with high quality.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
sport
Change the noun form
sports

It appears that the noun sport is being used as an adjective, but you may have chosen incorrectly between the singular and plural form. Consider changing the noun form.

show examples
industries provide
athlete
Fix the agreement mistake
athletes

It seems that athlete may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tools
Change preposition
with tools

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
like shows, clothes, and other
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Later teams
whose having
Verb problem
who

There may be a verb use issue here.

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play do not have to
payed
Wrong verb form
pay

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb payed. Consider changing it.

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a lot of money for
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that need.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when the player
used
Wrong verb form
uses

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb used. Consider changing it.

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these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds

It appears that the plural demonstrative these is modifying the singular noun kind. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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of
manufacturers
Replace the word
manufacturing

The word manufacturers doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
tools
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they can get feedback
to
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
factories for
somethings
Correct your spelling
some things

The word somethings doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
closes
Replace the word
close

The word closes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
qualities,
observe
Wrong verb form
observing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb observe. Consider changing it.

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weights, and other
tools
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

working;
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these firms can alter their
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods

It seems that good may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to the best
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which have more clients.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when I play badminton with
heavy
Correct article usage
a heavy

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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racket I cannot have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
good efficiency;
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I change my
tools
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and
sent
Wrong verb form
send

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb sent. Consider changing it.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

rocket to
it
Change the pronoun
its

It appears that the personal pronoun it should be in the possessive form. Consider changing it.

show examples
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the new
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

that do not have
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
bazar
Correct your spelling
bazaar

If you don’t want bazar to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

sections can show their
things
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

;
thereafter
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, players can introduce
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

good to fans.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these commercials have benefits for both
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players

It seems that player may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
and
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fact not only the number of
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events

It seems that event may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
profits are climbing.

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introduction conclusion present
Your essay should have a more clear and structured introduction. Try to state your stance explicitly in the introduction and outline the main points that you will discuss.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow and structure of your essay. Use more clear transitions between paragraphs and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
relevant specific examples
Develop your points more fully and provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help illustrate your points more effectively and make your argument more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and concisely. Avoid long, convoluted sentences and ensure that each sentence has a clear subject and verb.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion summarizes the main points of the essay effectively.
supported main points
You have included some relevant examples and points related to how commercial sponsorship can benefit sports events.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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