Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Some individuals think that at
this
time we have a good
number
of options.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement because now we have the
Internet
which gives information about things.
Also
, growing consumption is one of the key reasons that uplift the quantity of
choices
.
Firstly
,
it is clear that
the net provides too much information which promotes the paradox of choice. The
Internet
is a global network of billions of computers and other electronic devices. With the
Internet
, it is possible to access almost any information, communicate with anyone else in the world, and do much more.
For example
, humans can order things online,
also
owing to the global network they have access to foreign brands,
thus
leading to increased alternatives. A clear illustration can be seen in an excess of clothes from different brands
such
as Chanel and Dior that overwhelm buyers.
Secondly
, the fact that the
number
of consumers becomes more , leads to a variety of
choices
. Generally, consumers are trying to get the most for their tastes,income levels and financial constraints. Since all people have different tastes it leads to the fact that the
number
of elections rises and
begin
Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
show examples
to divide.
For instance
, food companies
encompasses
Change the verb form
encompass
show examples
separate categories including vegetarians, fat-free or organic dishes in order to carry out customer’s needs. In conclusion, in my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
people have a
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
number
of
choices
, which is more
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
they genuinely need and it is
due to
the
Internet
,which gives lots of possibilities and rising
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
too gives
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more
choices
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence
While the essay is generally coherent, there needs to be a clearer connection between the main points and the thesis statement in the introduction.
cohesion
The essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using phrases such as 'in addition,' 'moreover,' or 'furthermore' could help create a better flow.
task response
You should aim for a deeper exploration of the topic. More examples or evidence to support your argument would strengthen the overall response.
task response
Try to avoid small grammatical and lexical errors to improve clarity.
positive
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
positive
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt directly, which is great for task achievement.
positive
Your examples are relevant and help support your points, such as the mention of Chanel and Dior as well as the categorization of food for different consumer needs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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