Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Some individuals think that at
this
time we have a good number
of options. This
essay agrees with this
statement because now we have the Internet
which gives information about things. Also
, growing consumption is one of the key reasons that uplift the quantity of choices
.
Firstly
, it is clear that
the net provides too much information which promotes the paradox of choice. The Internet
is a global network of billions of computers and other electronic devices. With the Internet
, it is possible to access almost any information, communicate with anyone else in the world, and do much more. For example
, humans can order things online, also
owing to the global network they have access to foreign brands, thus
leading to increased alternatives. A clear illustration can be seen in an excess of clothes from different brands such
as Chanel and Dior that overwhelm buyers.
Secondly
, the fact that the number
of consumers becomes more , leads to a variety of choices
. Generally, consumers are trying to get the most for their tastes,income levels and financial constraints. Since all people have different tastes it leads to the fact that the number
of elections rises and begin
to divide. Correct subject-verb agreement
begins
For instance
, food companies encompasses
separate categories including vegetarians, fat-free or organic dishes in order to carry out customer’s needs.
In conclusion, in my point of Change the verb form
encompass
view
people have a Add a comma
view,
big
Correct word choice
large
number
of choices
, which is more that
they genuinely need and it is Correct word choice
than
due to
the Internet
,which gives lots of possibilities and rising consumptions
too gives Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
much
more Fix the agreement mistake
many
choices
.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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coherence
While the essay is generally coherent, there needs to be a clearer connection between the main points and the thesis statement in the introduction.
cohesion
The essay would benefit from smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Using phrases such as 'in addition,' 'moreover,' or 'furthermore' could help create a better flow.
task response
You should aim for a deeper exploration of the topic. More examples or evidence to support your argument would strengthen the overall response.
task response
Try to avoid small grammatical and lexical errors to improve clarity.
positive
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
positive
The essay stays on topic and addresses the prompt directly, which is great for task achievement.
positive
Your examples are relevant and help support your points, such as the mention of Chanel and Dior as well as the categorization of food for different consumer needs.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?