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Band 5

Population in cities is growing rapidly. What are the effects of it? What solutions can you gift to maintain a good quality of life in urban areas?

#population #cities #effects #gift #quality #life #areas
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In current
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Incurrent
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In current
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 society, increasing the number of citizens is causing several drawbacks, in order to keep
life-standard
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the standard
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 of dwellers in city areas, I
decide
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decided
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 to give both comments about the solutions On the one hand,
pollutio
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pollution
 growth leads to volume of traffic increases in both public and private
transports
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transport
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. That causes the rise in
the
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apply
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carbon dioxide emissions,
main
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the main
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 reason
of
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apply
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air pollution affects our
breathes
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breaths
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, can cause cancer, and traffic congestion, which
is result
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results
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 in
time-consuming
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the time-consuming
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of
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for
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 workers and students, especially
in
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during
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 rush hours.
moreover
, the rise
of
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in
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 residents must related to
increase
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an increase
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 the living
cost
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costs
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 because
of
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apply
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the services for basic needs
such
 as house, electricity, food and water become more expensive since the demands are far higher than the supplies.
for example
, in Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam,
where
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which
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gathers
Verb problem
has
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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 population, the cost of electricity is double
than
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apply
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that in
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the countrysides
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countrysides
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countryside
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.
this
 problem leads to the situation that people have to earn higher
income
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incomes
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 to respond to life demands, which the price of
thoses
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those
 roars dramatically
on the other hand
, to prevent all the negative matters mentioned above, I am going to give some useful ways.
first,
the government should introduce
the
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apply
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policies to promote and support the movement of factories, universities and hospitals to rural areas. Not only that they
also
 need to construct and develop important infrastructures,
for instance
, improve electricity lines and update roads so that citizens are more willing to leave cities to start their new life in other spacious places and bring the hope that they would have a better life.
second,
promoting the use of electric means of transport could decrease the toxic exhausts from vehicles powered by fossil fuels. by encouraging in
using
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use
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friendly
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of friendly
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 electric resources as solar power and wind power, the atmosphere becomes fresher
that
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apply
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enhances our health and
lessen
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lessens
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 diseases In conclusion, the growth of
population
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the population
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 causes a lot of detrimental problems in both physical and mental health and costs
much
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a lot of
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 money.
That is
 why the government have to give policies like
remove
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removing
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 important buildings
to
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in
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 rural areas and
heighten
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heightening
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 facilities in wide open spaces.
Submitted by tôi yêu ielts  on

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Grammar and Mechanics
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. There are multiple small errors in sentence formation, punctuation, and capitalization, which can affect readability.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Doing so will strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph centers around a clear, specific idea, and use transition words to better connect them.
Introduction and Conclusion
The essay introduces and concludes the main points effectively, ensuring a clear frame for the argument.
Task Achievement
You have successfully identified key problems associated with rapid urban population growth and proposed solutions to address them, showing an understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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