some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying subjects. To what extend do you agree ?

#people #children #world #work #schools #teenagers #time #subjects

As far as some groups of people think children do not know the world of

work

and the educational system has to force adolescents to

work

part-

time

while

they are studying in school I do not agree with

this

opinion because in

this

way teenagers can not focus on their educational goals. teenagers and children have a lot of things to do namely, their

homworke

Correct your spelling

homework

trying for high

scors

Correct your spelling

school

and

preapering

Correct your spelling

preparing

for

collage

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college

show examples

or university everyone knows that these works are

exhusting

Correct your spelling

exhausting

and there is no

time

for

anythings

Fix the agreement mistake

anything

show examples

else. Employment

are

Change the verb form

show examples

busier than having

time

for thinking about learning subjects so when a student is working even as a

port

Correct your spelling

part

show examples

time

job

get

Correct subject-verb agreement

gets

show examples

tiriyin

Correct your spelling

tiring

and its quality for educating gets less .

Teenages

Correct your spelling

Teenagers

have to pay attention

Change preposition

show examples

their lessons because they are making their future by studying and it is so important for them to have enough energy to

countinues

Correct your spelling

continue

their way

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

is learning and studying,

also

the

worldof

Correct your spelling

world of

work

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is not a hard

things

Correct the article-noun agreement

thing

show examples

and they can know it at the right

time

when they started going university they learn how they have to find a job and behave on a

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

. So it is not

nesseccary

Correct your spelling

necessary

Change preposition

for

show examples

them to do things early. In conclusion, there is no need for

childreen

Correct your spelling

children

work

because of that their attention and energy should be on their study they can

work

when they grow up and it is not a really big matter that

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

not any

solotion

Correct your spelling

solution

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Jul 08 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed. For instance, consider acknowledging potential benefits of teenagers working part-time, even if you ultimately argue against it.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your argument. Talk about particular scenarios where balancing work and study might be challenging for teenagers, which will strengthen your point.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical. Your arguments should build on each other more cohesively.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to accurate spelling and punctuation. This will improve the clarity and readability of your essay.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt clearly by expressing a position on the issue and providing reasons for the stance taken.

coherence cohesion

A clear introduction and conclusion are present, providing a framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying subjects. To what extend do you agree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Space exploration is too expensive and money should be spent on more important things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians and sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of Job should be highly paid?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.