Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? what could be disadvantages fo being self employed?
Today, more and more adults
decided
to Wrong verb form
decide
work
independently rather than being hired by a coorporation
. Correct your spelling
corporation
This
essay will firstly
suggest that people's increased desire for freedom could be the main reason Change the word
first
to
Change preposition
for
this
phenomenon. Despite the mass high interest for
Change preposition
in
self-employement
, it actually has its own Correct your spelling
self-employment
down side
Correct your spelling
downside
such
as negatively influanced
someone's psychological Correct your spelling
influenced
influence
well being
.
Recent Add a hyphen
well-being
reserach
studies have found that the majority of people in Correct your spelling
research
this
modern society demand a much more flexible life style
compared to their previous generations. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Due to
that reason, almost 90% of Gen Z decided to be self-employed. That is
why we now have jobs like influencer, youtuber
, or vlogger.
Correct your spelling
YouTuber
Although
this
career path may leads
to lots of freedom compared to the conventional office jobs, being Change the verb form
lead
self employed
might force a person to Add a hyphen
self-employed
work
even harder which usually caused
Wrong verb form
causes
higher
stress level. Correct article usage
a higher
Additionally
, those who work
with random working hours are also
facing the frightening feeling of uncertainity
.
In conclusion, many are now choosing to be self-employed rather than to Correct your spelling
uncertainty
work
in a certain institution. The reason to
Change preposition
for
this
change is the different way of living expectation
growing among the youth. Even though it is a popular decision, self Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
employement
could cause bad impacts Correct your spelling
employment
such
as burnout and unstability
.Correct your spelling
instability
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task achievement
Your essay is clear in its intention and you have addressed both parts of the task. However, the essay could benefit from a bit more depth and detail in the discussion. Providing more specific examples or elaborating on the points would make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a good logical flow, there are moments when the links between your points can be strengthened. For example, explaining how flexible work directly influences the decision to become self-employed could offer a smoother connection between ideas. Also, some sentences feel disjointed or abrupt and could benefit from the use of linking words or phrases.
task achievement
Your main points are clear, but it's crucial to provide an equal level of detail for both the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment. This would create a more balanced essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay.
supported main points
Your reasons for why people might choose self-employment and its disadvantages are relevant and logical.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.