The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.
The given line chart illustrates how the ratio of the
population
over 65 changed from 1940 to 2040 in Japan,
Sweden
and the 
USA
respectively. During the period, Japan will be expected to arrive at 27%
population
aged 65 in 2040, higher than
Sweden
and 
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, which will
stands
Change the verb form
stand
show examples
at 25% and 24% respectively. Though Japan
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
the lowest proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
over 65 between 1940 and 2005 less than 5%, it increased steadily
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
10% in 2030 and rose significantly and higher than
Sweden
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
stands
Wrong verb form
standing
show examples
at 25% in 2035. The proportion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
aged 65 in
Sweden
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
started at 7% and 9% in 1940. Both increased steadily and the 
USA
was always higher than
Sweden
.
Until
Change preposition
In
show examples
1995, 
Sweden
overtook the 
USA
and arrived at 14%. After 1995, the 
USA
remained at around 14% until 2018
reincreased
Verb problem
increased
show examples
, reaching 24% in 2040,
whereas
Sweden
increased
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated and arrived at 25%
finally
in 2040.
Overall
, the ratio of
population
aged 65 in three different countries is 
similarly
Change the word
similar
show examples
in 2040.
Submitted by fiasngs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, sweden, usa with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
What to do next:
Look at other essays: