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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural/and becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural/and becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #regions #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart represents the main causes of worldwide
degradation
Use synonyms
 of agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 and the table illustrates the information regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America, Europe and Oceania being affected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 over the given period.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Over grazing
Correct your spelling
Overgrazing
show examples
 is the main reason
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 agricultural
land
Use synonyms
 becomes least productive.
Besides
Linking Words
, the region of Europe was majorly affected by
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 during the 1990s.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
over grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
show examples
 is one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 accounting for
about
Rephrase
apply
show examples
about 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. After that, deforestation and
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
 are the main reasons accounting for around 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 each. And, other reasons account for only 7
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, which is fairly low. Switching to the table, As compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two countries, Europe was severely affected because of
indiscriminate
Correct article usage
the indiscriminate
show examples
 cutting down of forests.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Oceania was majorly affected accounting for 13
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, out of which nearly 11
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 was by
over grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
show examples
. Out of the three countries, North America is least affected by
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 and
thus
Linking Words
, accounted for only 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, out of which around 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
degradation
Use synonyms
 was by
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the causes and reasons responsible for reducing the productivity of agricultural
land
Use synonyms
varies
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
 from region to region.
Submitted by simrangupta98115 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words degradation, land, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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