Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve our mind health, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest our mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Mental well-being is
also
very
important as Rephrase
as
the
physical health, as it helps you think critically in difficult situations. Few people think that enjoyment Correct article usage
apply
activities
are important for us whereas
, other group says that we should take a break from all these things to get relaxed. I completely agree with the group that says we should provide complete
break to our Add an article
a complete
mind
so that we can rest well. In the forthcoming paragraph, I will describe some points to justify my opinion.
On the first
hand, these pleasure Correct word choice
other
activities
are very important for us to keep us calm in the worries of this
busy world. They helped us to divert our attention from our daily packed schedules and
gave Correct word choice
apply
ourselves
a little break from problems and Correct pronoun usage
us
provide
us little joy. These tricks helped us to Wrong verb form
provided
relaxed
our Change the verb
relax
mind
and body, because only relaxed
Correct article usage
a relaxed
mind
can make letter decisions.
On the other hand
, according to
some school
of Fix the agreement mistake
schools
thoughts
, we should take complete Fix the agreement mistake
thought
break
, even from these leisure Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
activities
as well for
some time to rest our Correct word choice
as
mind
so that we can gain our energy back to Fix the agreement mistake
minds
finished
our Change the form of the verb
finish
task
properly. I Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
complete
agree with Change the word
completely
this
statement as everything in this
world needs break
to work to its full strength. It helps us to recognize our mistakes and lacking and get back to them with full power, confidence and Add an article
a break
new
approach.
Add an article
a new
To conclude
it
, it's always better to give some time to these Correct pronoun usage
apply
enjoyment
Replace the word
enjoyable
activities
but we should also
provide rest to our mind
and body as well. As we all know that
a healthy body always Correct word choice
apply
possess
a healthy Change the verb form
possesses
mind
. In the future, most probably people will find less time to cherish these activities
due to
their busy routine.Submitted by ijazwamiq on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, which is a good start. However, you should support your points with more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more cohesively. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea supported by relevant examples and explanations.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion adequately frame your essay, providing a clear start and end to your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views on the topic, demonstrating a balanced approach.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.