Some people believe that the only important thing in life is his or her work. Without a successful career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, many people think their value absolutely depends on their position and lose many chances because they wait for their dreams. They completely believe their
life
is meaningless if they don’t have a successful career. In this
essay, I will express my perspective .
on the one hand, when you are keeping your focus on one way and ignoring any opportunity in your life
that will lead you to lose the beauty of life
. Life
doesn’t mean only possessions and occupations, success and failure there are a lot of careers that fit your personality and your position. For instance
, my friend was an employee of the company's human resources and she was amazing at knitting, but she insisted on leaving and concentrating on her work
after a couple of years when they abandoned her, she decided to establish her own institution and take advantage of her talent.
On the other hand
, the implementation of successful work
in your life
will affect you passively, work
is part of your life
, and you have another part which is more crucial than that. Furthermore
, the existence of love and family besides
friendship all of these is a blessing. Balance between your career, and your improvement and start concentrating on these sides of life
.
In conclusion, I fully agree with balancing life
and the success of work
, but don’t let that consume your energy and make you meaningless without it because there is always another aspect of life
that needs your care.Submitted by rraghad.b on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea that is supported by relevant examples and explanations. The essay can be further improved by organizing the supporting points in a logical manner. While there is an introduction and conclusion, more work can be done to better link the ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure that all aspects of the question are addressed comprehensively. Your response should explore both sides of the argument more deeply. Although you have provided examples, further elaboration, contrasting viewpoints, and clear explanations of your arguments would make a stronger case.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. There are a few areas in the essay where the ideas could be more clearly articulated. Greater precision in explaining your reasoning would strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame the essay and summarize the main points.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are generally well-structured with clear topic sentences, which helps to guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
You made a good attempt to respond to the task by covering various aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Relevant examples are provided to illustrate the main points, making the argument more persuasive and concrete.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.