Some people believe school children should be given multiple vacations while others think they should get one long vacation. Discuss advantages for both and give your opinion.
There are many people who suppose that school students have had
a
several holidays during the school Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
years
, Fix the agreement mistake
year
while
others think it would be better to have the
long Correct article usage
a
one
. Forrest. my
opinion, the best option is to give them a few vacations during the year, for several reasons.
First and foremost, we have to remember, that Change preposition
In my
a
children and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
a
teens are very curious, but Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
in
the same time, they are Change preposition
at
boring
quickly. So they must have Wrong verb form
bored
a
time to reset their power and to rest. Change the article
apply
For instance
, in Russia, that
I was born, there are four Correct word choice
where
brakes
- three of them short, like Correct your spelling
breaks
one
week to ten days, and a long one
in the summer. I'm still thinking, that it was the best system for children.
Secondly
, I think that one
more argument in favor
of short holidays is the financial burden for families. Many families don't have enough money to spend a long holiday with their children. Change the spelling
favour
Furthermore
, in most countries
there is Add a comma
countries,
very
small amount of holidays for adults.
In conclusion, I want to highlight the fact, that in most Add an article
a very
of
education systems all over the Change preposition
apply
world
there are several vacations Add a comma
world,
due to
the year, and it works perfect
.Change the adjective
perfectly
Submitted by anastasia on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, succinctly stating your position. Ensure that your opinion is clearly stated and reiterated throughout the essay to maintain focus and clarity.
task achievement
More concrete examples and detailed explanations would strengthen your arguments. For instance, providing specific examples of how multiple vacations help children refresh and improve their academic performance would make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. Minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases can disrupt the flow of your essay. Ensure subject-verb agreement and consistency in the use of singular and plural forms.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion effectively.
task achievement
The points raised are relevant to the topic and you have addressed both views as required by the task prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.