some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. others think that the true function of university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer. what, in your opinion, should be the main function of the university.

We are living in
the
Correct article usage
a
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world where the academic environment
develop
Wrong verb form
has developed
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than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
ever before. Some citizens reason that colleges ought to supply
Add an article
the graduate
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graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
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with the knowledge and skills for
students
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students'
student's
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future jobs. Others think that the true function of
a universities
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universities
a university
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should be to give access
of
Change preposition
to
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knowledge for
it
Change the pronoun
its
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own sake, regardless of
wether
Correct your spelling
whether
show examples
the course is useful to an employer. From my perspective, I approve
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
the first issue and I will explain my point of view specifically. On the one hand, when it comes to learning about the careers which they want to work in the future.
Students
will often focus on subjects which they consider
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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important that can be applied in their work.
For instance
, when a person
want
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wants
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to become a doctor, they always have a tendency
learn
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to learn
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more and more about Biology, Chemistry and Math.
Students
often tend to ignore subjects that they think are not related to their
career
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careers
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.
On the other hand
, learning other things takes
students
a lot of time to learn. Sometimes,
students
have a lot of projects to do. It
because
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is because
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they don't spend a hold time at home or at the university to study. They
also
have to work to support themselves. So that might take
students
many times to
finishing
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finish
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the deadline which
irrelevant
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is irrelevant
show examples
for their future jobs.
Therefore
, focusing on important subjects will help them easily access their chosen career. To draw a conclusion, teaching in many aspects is
also
a good thing for universities, but it is easy for them to only mix with their
students
. They need to concentrate on the career development that their
students
are aiming for
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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task achievement
You need to ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. While you did present an argument supporting one side, make sure to also briefly address the opposing view.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points. For instance, you could elaborate on how focusing on career-specific subjects leads to better job preparedness.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more clearly and logically. Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally to the next and that there's a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy and unrelated points. For example, mentioning 'biology, chemistry, and math' is good, but ensure it ties directly to the argument you're making.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance readability. Simplify complex sentences and make sure each sentence clearly conveys your intended meaning.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in making your argument more coherent.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue and present your point of view distinctly, which is crucial for task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lifelong learning
  • Holistic development
  • Vocational training
  • Industry-specific competencies
  • Critical thinking
  • Creative problem-solving
  • Academic research
  • Intellectual development
  • Ethics and values
  • Societal contribution
  • Job market demands
  • Practical training
  • Internships
  • Knowledge advancement
  • Global challenges
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