Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjets, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or this disagree?
Art
classes
are vital to the wholesome development of a kid these days. People argues
that it is beneficial for Change the verb form
argue
the
youngsters to have Correct article usage
apply
art
class
mandatory in high schools. Fix the agreement mistake
classes
However
, i
disagree and Change the capitalization
I
i
will explain in the following essay.
Change the capitalization
I
Firstly
, the mandatory art
classes
may stress the students out. Modern days
high schoolers have to master many school subjects with tight teaching Correct your spelling
Modern-day
schedule
. Most of the students are being asked to stay behind for complementary lessons. The addition of Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
art
classes
may cause them nuisance
and Add an article
a nuisance
therefore
unable to cope with the increased academic pressure.
Meanwhile, the teachers
may have higher
workload which is undesirable for their mental health. The Add an article
a higher
teachers
have been figuring out ways to enrich the scope of view of the students, such
as organising museum visits, these are as effective as art
classes
. However
, turning the classes
to
Change preposition
into
complusory
results in Correct your spelling
compulsory
higher
workload as the Correct article usage
a higher
teachers
have to design a new curriculumn
to Correct your spelling
curriculum
accommondate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
such
change
in syllabus. Fix the agreement mistake
changes
Therefore
the teachers
will be too tired upon
the ever-increasing Change preposition
of
work load
.Correct your spelling
workload
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, specific instances where students might feel stressed due to mandatory art classes or ways in which teachers are already burdened could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction should be more neutral and balanced before stating your stance. Instead of beginning with an absolute statement like "Art classes are vital," try to acknowledge both viewpoints right from the start.
coherence cohesion
Develop separate paragraphs for each new idea to improve the clarity and flow of your essay. This includes having a separate introduction and more clearly defined body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected and transitions smoothly. Using linking words like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "However" can help in achieving better flow and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion is missing. Summarize your main points and reiterate your stance in the conclusion to make your essay more complete.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, and you have addressed some important points regarding the potential pitfalls of making art classes compulsory in high schools.
complete response
You have clearly stated your stance on the issue and have provided some reasoning to back up your perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.