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Band 4

Nowadays, there is a rapid increase of rubbish amounts all around the world. What are the main causes for it? What can be a solution, in your opinion?

#rubbish #amounts #world
The
Correct article usage
Waste
show examples
waste
 pollution has long been a pressing issue across the globe.
This
 essay is going to discuss the cause of the
waste
 pollution and suggest
solution
Add an article
a solution
show examples
 to the problem. The first cause is the lack of public
education
. Hong
Kong
Change noun form
Kong's
show examples
education
 system has been putting emphasis on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic achievement over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moral
education
.
This
 includes long hours of teaching on major subjects with little time allocated
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
waste
 management. Limited advertisements were made to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic
waste
. Without proper
education
, the public awareness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 protection will
therefore
 be reduced. The reduced awareness in
turns
Fix the agreement mistake
turn
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jeapordizing
Correct your spelling
jeopardizing
 the environment as no one takes the initiative to reduce their
waste
 production.
Secondly
, the
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of provision in government policy.
While
 the world has been exploring different
waste
 management
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
,
such
 as incineration, Hong Kong is still lagging behind and heavily dependent on using
landfill
Fix the agreement mistake
landfills
show examples
. Without trying out
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
 for the increase in the rubbish amount, the
waste
 will accumulate to a skyrocketed number and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 nuisance to the public. The rapid increase in
waste
 generation has sounded alarm to humankind. There are ways we can adopt before the situation reaches the point of no return. We can start from a personal level. Actively reuse or
recyle
Correct your spelling
recycle
 the
waste
 produced. Promote the use of reusable materials and cut down
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 use of plastic bags. These can effectively
relieviate
Correct your spelling
relieve
alleviate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste
 pollution and turn the Earth
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a more habitable place.
Submitted by hardychau on

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task achievement
While the response comprehensively addresses the task, using more specific examples, data, or cases would strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using appropriate linking words can help ensure seamless connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding the conclusion to briefly summarize the main points discussed, reiterating why these solutions can be effective in combating the issue of waste pollution.
task achievement
The essay successfully identifies main causes and provides a valid solution, which aligns well with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and effectively sets up the discussion for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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