The government should close companies that produce toxic waste materials without their own waste treatment facility in order to protect the envirnonment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.
I disagree with the notion that the state should close companies that emit waste materials without their own waste treatment firm to protect the
surrounding
. In Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
this
essay, I will give my reasons.
Firstly
, company owners have ensured creation
of employment Add an article
the creation
to
persons of different ages. Change preposition
for
This
means if they are closed, many people will be left jobless. For instance
, Cocacola company is the largest firm globally and has created nearly 86 percent
of work Change the spelling
per cent
to
people mostly in Change preposition
for
the
developing countries. It Correct article usage
apply
will
be unfair to make Wrong verb form
would
staffs
lose their jobs and Fix the agreement mistake
staff
instead
the Add a comma
instead,
government
can agree with the private sector on the way forward to reduce pollution to the environment.
Secondly
, private firms are the primary source for
Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
government
revenue. The money collected is given back to people and helps to improve quality
of essential amenities Correct article usage
the quality
such
as hospitals, schools and transport at large. If the government
stop operation of the private companies due to
lack
of waste treatment facilities, it will Correct article usage
a lack
also
lose funds provided to them. For example
, in Kenya government
assists private companies to design
affordable ways of recycling products to minimise pollution. Change preposition
in designing
This
has ensured growth and development for both of them. Further
, the government
benefit largely in terms of funds that comes
from the private Change the verb form
come
sectors
.
In conclusion, I believe private sectors that do not have garbage treatment facilities should not be closed because of Fix the agreement mistake
sector
loss
of jobs and Correct article usage
the loss
decrease
collection of Wrong verb form
decreased
government
revenue. Rather, they should come up with cheaper ways to help combat the issue of polluting the environment and encourage re use
of the products.Correct your spelling
reuse
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task achievement
The introduction sets the stage for the argument, but it could be more precise in outlining the main points to be discussed. A clearer thesis statement could improve the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is addressed sufficiently, but the essay could benefit from a richer variety of vocabulary and more advanced sentence structures. Consider using more linking words for smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
Work on providing stronger support for each argument. For instance, statistics or additional research could give more weight to your points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides specific reasons and examples to support the argument, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the Coca-Cola company and the situation in Kenya, helps to illustrate points effectively.