Some people believe that corporal punishment helps to improve students' behavior, while others think it could be detrimental in many ways. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is generally claimed that corporal

punishment

Use synonyms

is detrimental for

students

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while

Linking Words

other people believe that it helps to improve their

behaviour

Use synonyms

To begin

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with, the supporters of physical

punishement

Correct your spelling

punishment

believe that it can serve as an immediate deterrent to undesirable

behaviour

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, and they

also

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believe it promotes discipline and respect. They believe it could be an effective and quick way to stop wrong behaviours,

for example

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in classrooms among

students

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, creating a positive learning environment.

Moreover

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, those supporters

also

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believe that corporal

punishment

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can reinforce the consequences of bad

behaviour

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, making children more aware of what they should not do.

Thus

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this

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awareness can lead them to behave better in the long term.

On the other hand

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, others believe that corporal

punishment

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can have extremely serious psychological effects on

students

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such

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as aggressiveness, fear, and anxiety.

Furthermore

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, they suppose that those methods could lead to a cycle of violence, making

students

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believe that aggression is a good way to solve problems.

To conclude

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, I firmly believe that physical

punishment

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should be avoided. In fact, there are many other ways to improve children's

behaviour

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such

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as positive reinforcement and counselling. Those methods help

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

develop self-control and decision-making skills, contributing to personal growth.

chi63hi Tue Jul 09 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your task achievement, consider adding more specific examples or studies to bolster your arguments. This would make your points more compelling and demonstrate in-depth understanding.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on transitioning smoothly between paragraphs. The essay reads well, but some transitions feel abrupt. Using linking phrases can create a more seamless flow.

task achievement

Incorporate counterarguments and address them to strengthen your essay further. This can show your ability to see and engage with multiple perspectives.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion nicely.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, making your stance easy to understand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

203 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

corporal punishment
deterrent
undesirable behavior
discipline
respect for authority
disruptive behaviors
conducive learning environment
judiciously
reinforce
boundaries
psychological effects
increased aggression
anxiety
cycle of violence
physical aggression
abuse
discrimination
unevenly
biases
resentment
positive reinforcement
counseling
behavioral interventions
self-control
decision-making skills

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Some people believe that corporal punishment helps to improve students' behavior, while others think it could be detrimental in many ways. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Many people think that regions affect a successful person. What is your opinion about the native region and accomplished person’s influence on the region he belongs to?

Many people lose their income due to CoVid19 pandemic. What solution that can do by government or individual to overcome this problem.

Some people think it is better for children to being to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. What’s your opinion? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion