Some people believe that an individual's personality is largely shaped by their genes, while others argue that environmental factors play a more significant role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Every single person around the world has his own unique
personality
traits like each person’s identical finger print
. Correct your spelling
fingerprint
In
one’s Change preposition
From
perspective
people’s Add a comma
perspective,
personality
is an intrinsic feature, while
other
have an opposing viewpoint which is people will learn how to act in different Fix the agreement mistake
others
situation
from the society that they are living in. I fiercely agree with the second group and Fix the agreement mistake
situations
this
argument will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
As mentioned, some claims
that people’s Fix the agreement mistake
claim
character
is a parental heritage and all mankind born
with their specific Add a missing verb
is born
personality
. In their opinion, gens are playing
the most important role in humans’ Wrong verb form
play
character
; for instance
, someone who has stingy
streak may Correct article usage
a stingy
bears
Change the verb form
bear
this
aspect of himself from his childhood -he used not to share his toys or nourishments
with others- and his parents or siblings have the same Fix the agreement mistake
nourishment
behavior
. For another example, being sociable and supremely confident or being shy in Change the spelling
behaviour
community
is an inborn factor that transfers in a race’s generations and it may be an unchangeable trait.
Others and I, Add an article
the community
a community
in contrast
, opine that the manner and the way that people react in diverse circumstance
is specifically Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
effected
by the society and the atmosphere that they are living in. For Correct your spelling
affected
some examples
, Humans understand how to trust and be a Fix the agreement mistake
example
trusty
person in Correct word choice
trustworthy
job
environment and in Correct article usage
a job
family
by communicating, Couples learn to be fiercely loyal to each other when they are in a strong relationship. Add an article
the family
a family
Moreover
, people
Change noun form
people's
character
may change after their migrations since they live in a different culture; they may have boundless energy or they may be full of pent-up anger, Fix the agreement mistake
characters
depends
on their situation.
In brief, there are two viewpoints; from one point of view, peoples’ Wrong verb form
depending
character
is approximately based on their gens
; from another, individuals’ Correct your spelling
genes
personality
is depended
on the environment that they are living in. I widely agree with the second group and I opine that morality is not only irrelevant Replace the word
dependent
with
DNA, but Change preposition
to
also
society and culture are particular factors.Submitted by shaghayegh95shadman on
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clear comprehensive ideas
Your main ideas are clear, but there is room for clearer articulation. For example, try discussing each viewpoint in separate paragraphs and use transitional phrases to better link your ideas.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Also, explain how these examples reinforce your argument to make your essay more compelling.
logical structure
To improve coherence, work on your paragraph transitions. Clearly signal the end of one argument and the beginning of the next to improve the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your discussion.
complete response
You have provided a complete response to the task by discussing both viewpoints and giving your own opinion.
supported main points
Your main points are supported with examples, which helps to strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.