Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a belief that
people
who serve their time in jails
and change themselves toward being Fix the agreement mistake
jail
a
good Correct article usage
apply
citizen
are the most optimal Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
personnels
to share with young Correct your spelling
personnel
people
about the dangerous aspect
of misdeeds. I strongly advocate the aforementioned as it will be beneficial for both the audiences and the wrongdoers.
There are several advantages of allowing the previous crime-committers to talk about their experiences. Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
Firstly
, young students will get the opportunity to learn from real-life stories, which can be inspiring and provide valueable
lessons. Correct your spelling
valuable
For example
, Rober Downey Jr. was a drug-addict
and he served a few years in jail, but he managed to recover from that situation and strive to become one of the most well-known and talented Correct your spelling
drug addict
actor
. His life story has become an inspiration for Change to a plural noun
actors
a huge numbers
of teenagers who Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge number
huge numbers
is
his Correct subject-verb agreement
are
fan
, and it can persuade his fans to stay away from any potential criminal acts. Fix the agreement mistake
fans
Secondly
, people
with a jail-time
past were once young and rebellious. Correct your spelling
jail time
As a result
, they can relate to the mindsets of the juveniles and gain the trust of those young people
. Instead
of sharing typical moral lessons, the ex-offenders can speak the language of their teenage audiences and deliver the messages in a more efficient way.
Moreover
, by giving the ex-offenders a chance to talk about their experiences, a sense of responsibility can be instilled into those people
, enhancing their core moral values and preventing them from repeating their mistakes. In fact, many people
claim to be more responsible toward society when they get to share their stories with the younger generation. Moreoever
, ex-prisoners may receive Correct your spelling
However
the
encouragement through the bond they form with teenagers Correct article usage
apply
that
they get to meet and share their stories with. Correct word choice
whom
Hence
, these positive development
may push them to try harder and be a better citizen.
In conclusion, giving the ex-offenders who grow out of their crimes and serve the community an opportunity to talk about the hazardous aspects of crimes to the juveniles could benefit both the Fix the agreement mistake
developments
audiences
and the speakers.Fix the agreement mistake
audience
Submitted by kimtruong270192 on
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language
Work on grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage to enhance readability. For example, 'personnels' should be 'personnel,' 'valueable' should be 'valuable,' and 'one of the most well-known and talented actor' should be 'one of the most well-known and talented actors.'
coherence
Ensure consistency in point of view and pronouns. For instance, 'In conclusion, giving the ex-offenders who grow out of their crimes and serve the community' should maintain singular or plural consistency for clarity.
task achievement
The essay offers a clear and comprehensive response to the task, providing well-structured reasoning and relevant examples to support the argument. For instance, using Robert Downey Jr.'s story effectively illustrates the point that real-life examples can inspire teenagers.
coherence cohesion
A logical structure is maintained throughout the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph transitions smoothly and maintains focus on the main argument, which aids in understanding the writer’s perspective.