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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The given illustrations depict the progress of tools used for cutting in the Stone Ages.

#illustrations #progress #tools #stone #ages
The given illustrations depict the progress of tools used for cutting in the Stone
Ages
Fix the agreement mistake
Age
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.
Overall
, it is obvious that
tool
Capitalize word
Tool
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B
 overcame
dramatically
Change the word
dramatic
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 modifications to
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 larger and more sophisticated than
tool
Capitalize word
Tool
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 A. Regarding
of
Change preposition
apply
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tool
 A, it first appeared about 1,4 million years ago and was used by prehistoric people
in
Change preposition
for
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 various purposes.
Tool
 A was small and did not have a particular shape, just
approxiamtely
Correct your spelling
approximately
 7-8
centimeters
Change the spelling
centimetres
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 in length. As we can see in the diagrams,
this
tool
 was made in a crude way with the front
view
 and back
view
were
Verb problem
apply
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not
resemble
Wrong verb form
resembling
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.
Moreover
, its edge was extremely blunt which proved that it was not sharpened well.
In contrast
,
tool
B
 showed us that it underwent about 0,7 million years to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 more advanced and sharper than
tool
 A. The front
view
 and back
view
 of
tool
B
 were almost symmetrical with
water
Correct article usage
a water
show examples
 drop shape.
Additionally
,
tool
B
 was not only bigger than
tool
 A but
also
 more pointy and even than
tool
 A which claimed that
tool
B
 could be used for many cutting tasks more effectively.
Submitted by weezel on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using more varied linking phrases can help the essay flow better.
task achievement
For a higher score in Task Achievement, elaborate further on the details given in the illustrations. Providing more specific examples will help support the main points more robustly.
general
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range. Minor errors can affect the overall impression, so careful proofreading is helpful.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of the evolution of cutting tools during the Stone Ages.
task achievement
Good comparison and contrast were made between Tool A and Tool B, highlighting key differences in shape, sharpness, and usability.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is easy to follow, with a logical progression from the introduction to the detailed descriptions of each tool.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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