In some countries you people are encouraged to work a travel for a year between finishing high school and starting University studies discuss the advantage and disadvantage of young people whose this site to do this
Before college,
Manny
young people are advised that a Correct your spelling
Many
year
of working or travelling may be a good option Use synonyms
this
essay will suggest that experience gained and money saved are the biggest advantages of Linking Words
this
but delaying Linking Words
careers
and reducing motivation to study are the primary Use synonyms
disadvantage
.
The main Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
disadvantage
of Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
Gap
Correct article usage
a Gap
Year
are learning more about the world and earning money for Use synonyms
student
who have just finished secondary School,working or travelling for a Fix the agreement mistake
students
year
will allow them to learn what Use synonyms
the
life is like outside of Correct article usage
apply
Use synonyms
education
system.Correct article usage
the education
Also
Linking Words
third-level
of Correct your spelling
third level
education
is very expensive and many students decide to work for 12 months and save money before they Use synonyms
began
their The average student at the University requires over $ 10000 per annum to survive and may drop out because they cannot app for to stay.
Despite these advantages, students lose a Wrong verb form
begin
year
that could have been used to advance their future Use synonyms
careers
and they often get used to working or travelling and don't want to return to the life of study as job markets are very competitive and Use synonyms
extra
Add an article
an extra
the extra
year
of gained of experience can make a massive difference when applying for a job and those Use synonyms
who
to Change the pronoun
whom
took
a gap Change the form of the verb
take
year
are at disadvantage.Use synonyms
Moreover
, some decide to bypass University Linking Words
alltogether
and go straight to Correct your spelling
altogether
all together
the
job Correct article usage
a
that is
beneath their capabilities or may not offer the same prospectus their future Linking Words
careers
might have.Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
jobin
the service industry are easy to get without create without a Correct your spelling
jobs in
third- level
Correct your spelling
third-level
education
Use synonyms
,
and many gapRemove the comma
apply
student
fill these roles only to be struck in Fix the agreement mistake
students
in
them for the rest of the I Change preposition
apply
life
.
In Replace the word
live
conclusion
taking a break from studies can be Add a comma
conclusion,
advantages
if it allows people to accumulate savings or learn more about Replace the word
advantageous
that
world. Correct determiner usage
the
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However
they should always be careful that it does not delay the start of Add a comma
However,
the
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their
careers
and lead to Use synonyms
this
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disillusionments
with Fix the agreement mistake
disillusionment
education
.Use synonyms
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on
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task achievement
Your essay starts with a clear introduction, but there are some spelling and grammar mistakes. Make sure to proofread your work to avoid these errors.
task achievement
Work on improving the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors and unclear phrasing.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are well-supported with relevant examples. The examples provided could be more specific and detailed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a more logical structure. Some points could be organized more effectively to improve the overall flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on using linking phrases and transitional words more effectively to create a smoother flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the clarity of your main points and how they connect to your conclusion. This will help create a more cohesive argument.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt at discussing relevant examples and explanations to support your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.