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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #visitors #three #london #museums #information #features #comparisons
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The bar diagram displays the number of tourists who went
sight seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
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 at the National
gallery
Capitalize word
Gallery
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, Victoria and Albert
Museum
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 and British
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 from 2007 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
 it is immediately apparent that
visitors
Use synonyms
 to the National
gallery
Capitalize word
Gallery
show examples
 increased over the period. Looking at the chart,
National
Correct article usage
the National
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gallery
Capitalize word
Gallery
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 which was the least popular amongst the 3 sceneries with about 7
million
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visitors
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 in 2007 saw a rise in the number of
visitors
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 reaching a value of approximately 17
million
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 making the place the most visited site in 2012.
Although
Linking Words
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
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 and Albert
Museum
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 had the highest number of tourists in 2007, 2008 and 2009, that
scenary
Correct your spelling
scenery
scenario
 was the least patronised in 2012. Turning to
British
Correct article usage
the British
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Museum
Use synonyms
, there were fluctuations in the people who went
sight seeing
Correct your spelling
sightseeing
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 there. 2007 witnessed about 13
million
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visitors
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. Over the next 2 years,
this
Linking Words
 figure fell to a little lower than half at around 6
million
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.
However
Linking Words
, the next 3 years saw
an
Change the article
a
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 rise reaching nearly 15
million
Use synonyms
 tourists in 2012.
Submitted by nmaureen03 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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