The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #future

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It is

preticted

Correct your spelling

predicted

that people's well-being and mental

health

Use synonyms

will be worse in

future

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than now. I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

Sedentary

Correct article usage

a Sedentary

show examples

lifestyle and consuming unhealthy

foods

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

lead to

bring

Verb problem

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

toxic situation.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine

for

Correct pronoun usage

this for

show examples

the following reasons. To Commence with, in

this

Linking Words

face- pace

Correct your spelling

fast-paced

show examples

world people are working long hours without taking time

for maintaining

Change preposition

to maintain

show examples

their well-being

Change the punctuation

;

show examples

long hours of sitting at

office

Add an article

the office

show examples

and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not have more relaxation time

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can lead to getting sedentary lifestyle. In the

future

Use synonyms

People

also

Linking Words

will suffer

this

Linking Words

sedentary life in order to they will

affect

Wrong verb form

affected

show examples

many

Change preposition

by many

show examples

illness

Change to a plural noun

illnesses

show examples

from

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

. Evidence for

this

Linking Words

appears in India; numerous mankind

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

affected sedentary

lisestyle

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

due to

Linking Words

neither

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

time nor interest to carry out, and maintain their well-being.

Hence

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

will be worse in the upcoming years than now.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, humankind

consume

Change the verb form

consumes

show examples

enormous amounts of Junk

foods

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, that mix toxic

chemical

Fix the agreement mistake

chemicals

show examples

of flavours,

thus

Linking Words

brings

Wrong verb form

bringing

show examples

Plenty of deadly diseases like Cancer. Because of e more

affortable

Correct your spelling

affordable

price of the packed

foods

Use synonyms

that are Selling in Shops. One piece of evidence for

this

Linking Words

is numerous

western

Capitalize word

Western

show examples

countries

Change noun form

countries'

country's

show examples

shop

Correct subject-verb agreement

shops

show examples

sell junk

foods

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inexpensive price, everybody can access it, and cooking at home will bring

high

Correct word choice

a higher

show examples

cost than buying

McDonalds

Change noun form

Mcdonald's

Mcdonalds'

show examples

is very cheap. But it brings a plethora of detrimental effects to

Use synonyms

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of the

future

Use synonyms

generation. In conclusion,

health

Use synonyms

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

Change the word

apply

show examples

worse in

future

Use synonyms

than present because of eating unhealthy food items

along with

Linking Words

maintaining

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

statement in the above-mentioned details. I hope

this

Linking Words

trend will Provide more

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

to the PoRelation to take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

health

Use synonyms

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Jul 10 2024

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coherence and cohesion

Work on organizing your paragraphs clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, which should be clearly introduced at the beginning of the paragraph.

task response

Ensure that all parts of the task prompt are fully addressed. While your essay covers the idea of worsening health, it could benefit from a broader range of reasons and examples.

language use

Be more precise with vocabulary and grammar. For example, instead of "bring this toxic situation," you might say, "lead to this detrimental situation."

coherence and cohesion

You successfully included an introduction and conclusion, which helps create a clear structure in your essay.

task response

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

nowdays many people travel do you think advantages of this outweigh disadvantages

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Parents are encouraging their children to spend an increasing amount of time on tablets and screens because they think it will improve their technological skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that modern design for schools and offices with more open spaces are necessary. Advantage and disadvantage.