IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people today use their phones for sending texts more than talking. What are the reasons for this? are there more advantages than disadvatages ?

#people #phones #texts #disadvatages
These days, it is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
undeniable that people are addicted to technological advancement. Many people prefer to deliver
message
Correct article usage
a message
show examples
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
ringing
Replace the word
ring
show examples
 to
others
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 is more
convinence
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and
this
 trend has more benefits than drawbacks.
This
 essay will examine
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the following reasons. There are some advantages of texting than talking by smartphones. One of the major benefits is that
this
 will help
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the introverter to express their feelings. and emotions through texting because they are afraid to talk to someone by Phone ringing
while
 they choose
message
Add an article
a message
the message
show examples
 to deliver it.
For example
,
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
 short notes to
others
, not only delivers messages but
also
 conveys their emotions and feelings by sending some
emolies
Correct your spelling
memories
movies
. Another benefit is that it is inexpensive than
call to
Wrong verb form
calling
show examples
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
; there are a plethora of message apps. are provided more
facilitiel
Correct your spelling
facilities
, which consume little data, so
this
 trend has more fans
followers
Correct word choice
and followers
show examples
 than calling. Despite these advantages, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using text for communication than calling.
This
 will affect the youngster's social communication because they prefer to text
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
someone
instead
 of speaking,
this
 lead to affect their mental well-being and they
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
show examples
 to talk
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
 of
others
,
consequently
, they may be turned to become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Introverter.
For instance
, numerous young generation
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
show examples
 their precious time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
texting in text apps
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
namely,
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
show examples
 and
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
. These are the drawbacks of
this
phonenom
Correct your spelling
phenom
 phenomenon. In conclusion,
it is clear that
 using more time for messages rather than calls
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more
advantagel
Correct your spelling
advantages
advantage
 than disadvantages because it
brings
Verb problem
is
show examples
 cost-effective
along
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it is most suitable for introverters to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
 without any
hesistation
Correct your spelling
hesitation
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language
Work on grammar and spelling errors to improve readability and clarity.
Language
Try to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the essay's fluency.
Content
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
Structure
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-connected with clear topic sentences. This will improve the logical flow.
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
Content
The main points are clearly stated and are relevant to the topic.
Content
The essay addresses both the reasons for the trend and examines the advantages and disadvantages, thus providing a complete response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: