Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

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Since the fourth industrial revolution, mobile phones have become a

dispenable

Correct your spelling

dispensable

part of humans’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, which has resulted in the popularity of social

networks

Use synonyms

. The evidence for

that is

Linking Words

anyone has at least one social account

such

Linking Words

as Facebook to use.

However

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

think that social

networks

Use synonyms

have had a pessimistic effect on both individuals and society. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. It cannot be denied that social networking sites have some optimistic impact on today’s generation.

First,

Linking Words

social sites are developed to connect

people

Use synonyms

from all over the globe despite the distance gap. Residents from Vietnam can contact those who live in the USA in a short amount of time, though the gap between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

countries is over 1000

kilometers

Change the spelling

kilometres

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, social

networks

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as FaceBook, Instagram, and

Tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

can be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

where

people

Use synonyms

freely help others.

For instance

Linking Words

, a good many retired teachers

such

Linking Words

as Mrs. Trinh still

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

on their social media to help lots of students get over their exams.

However

Linking Words

, social

networks

Use synonyms

still have lots of serious negative

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

people

Use synonyms

. Most social networking sites have huge security holes, and one of

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

is the anonymity of users.

This

Linking Words

results in an increasing number of cyberbullying which makes lots of teenagers stressed for a long time, and that

the

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is the

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reason why more and more teenagers choose suicide.

Moreover

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, if

people

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upload personal pictures to the public, there will be a chance that their pictures get stolen to fake their identity. To be more specific, cybercriminals can use your photos or your information for bad purposes.

For example

Linking Words

, in 2020, over one million personal information of Vietnam residents were sold on

blackmarket

Correct your spelling

the market

, which makes many Vietnamese confused and worried. In conclusion, though social network has some advantages like socializing and helping each other, it cannot be rejected that it has many serious effects on both individuals and society

such

Linking Words

as lack of security and the anonymity of users.

dohuyhoangWed Jul 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all ideas and arguments are fully extended and supported. Some points in your essay could benefit from additional explanation and examples to enhance clarity and impact.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with word choice and grammar to avoid small mistakes. For example, 'dispensable' should be 'indispensable,' and 'over 1000 kilometers' should be more precise or rewritten for clarity. Review these details to increase overall coherence.

organization

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easier to follow.

relevance

The topic is addressed completely with clear and relevant arguments. Additionally, the examples provided are pertinent, adding depth to the discussion.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

erosion
face-to-face
interactions
privacy concerns
data breaches
misinformation
polarize
cyberbullying
online harassment
procrastination
productivity
social isolation
dissemination
breeding ground
vast amounts
personal information
mental health

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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

Rich countries should not employ labour from poor countries because they need the workers more. Do you agree or disagree ?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?