In some countries, some high school leavers choose to work or travel for a period of time before going to university. Discuss the disadvantages and advantages of these school leavers’ decisions and give your opinion.

#countries #school #leavers #work #travel #period #time #university #leavers’ #decisions

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Many people believe that the youth should take a gap from their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

after graduation of their schooling

instead

of getting admission

Change preposition

show examples

the University.

This

essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of

this

choice before concluding that the former is more significant. On the one hand, getting a job or travelling right after high

school

is disadvantageous to some extent. The foremost shortcoming is that students lose the momentum to study. To explain

this

, the information they have learnt could fade away after taking a year gap from high

school

As a result

, learners could suffer from getting knowledge from a new curriculum

while

pursuing their degree education.

In addition

, travel costs them a great deal of money. Especially if they move to another

country

, they will have to ask for support from parents for 12 months expenses of food, accommodation, flight tickets, which may become a heavy burden on their family.

On the other hand

, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that young graduates should choose to postpone higher education. One reason is that

this

decision could give high

school

seniors opportunities to gain valuable experience.

For instance

, many Vietnamese students choose to take a gap year to live in a foreign

country

, which could help them enrich their life experiences and learn to be independent. Another reason is that having a year-long break allows young students to clarify their study or career ladder later.

This

is because

during

Add the comma(s)

, during

show examples

their time staying in another

country

, they can work for various positions, understand their potential strength,

and

Correct word choice

apply

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hone practical skills and upgrade their language ability.

Then

when they come back to their home

country

, they can apply what they have learned. In conclusion,

while

it is irrefutable that travelling for a year after high

school

in lieu of going directly to college could have some downsides, I would contend that the upsides which it offers are significantly more noteworthy.

Submitted by vietnam.rosy.nguyen on Wed Jul 10 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with more detailed examples or evidence. For example, provide specific scenarios or statistics about students who have benefitted from taking a gap year.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This can help the essay to flow more smoothly and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete and balanced response to the question, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year before university.

coherence cohesion

The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frames the discussion and makes the writer’s opinion clear.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well supported with relevant examples and logical arguments, particularly noting cultural specifics like Vietnamese students taking gap years abroad.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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In some countries, some high school leavers choose to work or travel for a period of time before going to university. Discuss the disadvantages and advantages of these school leavers’ decisions and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that goverment is responsilbe for crime prevention. Others think that individuals are responsible to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some old people today's struggle with the use of modern technology such as smartphone and computers. what is the cause of this? what are the some possible solutions?

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.